An Ode to Rocco

rocco siffredi

I’m all torn up, you guys. Our hero, the Italian Stallion himself, the world’s pornstar, Rocco Siffredi has officially retired from performing. You’ll have to excuse this interruption to Mr. Pink’s regularly scheduled and styled blog posts, ’cause I’m just too emotional right now to write anything but, but…… poetry!

Years ago, an Italian lad
A young stallion, name of Rocco
In his mind’s eye, did shout “Egads!”
and his intuition follow
From one girl to four to fifteen, true
No number overwhelmed him
But Rocco, who will follow you
Now you’ve thrown the towel in

I fear that I am brokenhearted
Though I’m sure I will recover
Unlike the girls whose cheeks he parted
‘fore their faces he did cover
Longing to with him work again
Pro sluts cry out in pain
“Oh, Rocco, our dear Rocco
Porn will never be the same”

Personally, I must agree
The loss is ours, not yours
So I’ll reign in my jealousy
As your wife had done hers

I wish your kin no sadness
I wish your kin no grief
So let me now extend my hand
in congratulations to your wife
Rosa, the Rocco-thief

rocco siffredi review

Lylith LaVey Takes Bang Bros to Court

lylith lavey evil angel

When news broke in mid-2012 that a male adult performer had altered a standard pre-shoot STI test to conceal his syphilis (a.k.a.: the STI that my mother claimed would send me roaring towards total insanity; aka: the most popular STI of the 15th Century), the industry rightfully clutched their collective genitals and said, “Shit, that guy’s an ass (and I hope I didn’t fuck him).” One person who did fuck Mr. Marcus, the man in question, was Lylith LaVey yet she has managed not only to use the legal system to hit back at Marcus himself (as she did in to the tune of $129,360) but also at the company she claims was neglectful in allowing Marcus to perform with a fudged test: our ol’ pals the Bang Bros.

Claiming her association with Mr. Marcus (now known as Mr. Syphilitic) caused her “emotional distress as well as castigation from others in her field,” LaVey (real name Heather DeAngelo) filed suit in early-2014 against Bang Bros, the production entity responsible for the scene in question and Mr. Marcus’ booking. LaVey’s case against the Bros didn’t make it to court and she was awarded an undisclosed sum of money via a settlement agreement with the company. After a 13-month-long lawsuit proceeding, it now appears that this little nightmare episode has resolved itself nice and tidily with the wounded compensated, the negligent hit where it hurts, and the truly guilty scrambling to reassemble his life and career.

Two questions remain, though: who knew you could successfully sue someone for almost (but not) infecting you with syphilis? And who on Earth would change their name from a perfectly porny real name like Heather DeAngelo?

Lylith LaVey at Evil Angel

Benz vs Ann: Nikki on Top!

Lisa Ann vs Nikki Benz

Pornstar Twitter fights rarely escalate into actual altercations IRL but one little spat recently came surprisingly close. Although recently retired from adult, living legend Lisa Ann took to her Twitter account to toss a few snarky comments in the (barely disguised) direction of the one and only Nikki Benz. The resulting back-and-forth saw name-calling, accusations of illegal prostitution, drug references, and the incredible assertion that, now departed from adult, Lisa Ann has no friends in the industry. Although blows were swung by each woman, Benz was clearly down for a scrap and actually invited Ann to do just that. In response, Lisa Ann filed a restraining order in Los Angeles County that alleged she was receiving threats of violence both directly and indirectly made by Nikki Benz. Ever the fighter, the would-be Mayor of Toronto hit back hard, claiming Ann’s application was intended to deny Benz her right to free speech.

The Los Angeles Supreme Court ruled in favor of Benz, dismissing Ann’s restraining order application after Benz filed an motion. The court found Ann’s request was “not supported by the evidence” and that nothing posted to Twitter or said on stage at a January awards show was a sufficient, valid threat to Ann’s safety or security. The ruling comes after Ann claimed she was unable to attend awards ceremonies due to threats made by Benz and her supporters, yet she is a noted and provable attendee of the events in question. As numerous Benz supporters asked on her Twitter account: what the hell was Lisa Ann thinking?

LA Court rules in Benz's favor

Benz responded to the ruling with a press release, which reads as follows:

“I am thrilled that the Court has thrown out Lisa Ann’s frivolous case for supposed harassment against me. I intend to pursue her for all damages she has caused me as a result. Filing legal cases just to get in TMZ is just sad. A big thank you to all adult stars and industry people who showed me support on Twitter and in court. The overwhelming support is greatly appreciated.”

Now if we can only get them in the Brazzers House together…

Tory Lane: Insane on an Airplane

Vying for mainstream respectability, some adult performers today claim that feminist ideals, college tuition payments, politically-motivated sexual libertinism, and therapeutic self-treatment are behind their careers in the pornographic arts. As admirable as those motivations may be, there’s also something to be said for those women who, when push comes to shove, enter porn because they’re downright sexually insatiable. Of all such performers, nobody approaches the complete abandon and wild, animalistic intensity of Tory Lane. In fact, the woefully under-appreciated Ms. Lane is such a relentlessly aggressive and committed performer, she sometimes takes things a little too far. Case in point, Delta Flight 17 that flew from Atlanta to Los Angeles late last month.

With a reputation for unbridled animalistic lust and a penchant for DP-heavy gangbangs, roughhousing, and physical abuse, Tory Lane’s infamy in many cases precedes her. When it came to the aforementioned Delta flight, however, Ms. Lane landed in LA a bigger legend than ever. According to eyewitnesses, Lane, a passenger on said flight, lost her temper and started something of a scene prior to landing. As reported by the UK’s porn-obsessed Daily Mail, an apparently intoxicated Lane was arrested after allegedly assaulting passengers and crew while Flight 17 was in the air. Upon arrival at LAX, a “kicking and screaming” Lane was detained by Los Angeles Fire Department and taken to a local hospital for treatment. After being taken to LAPD 77th Division Jail and booked for suspicion of battery on a police officer and public drunkenness. Later released on $21,000, Lane took to Twitter to address the debacle, leaving only this message:

So, in tribute to Tory Lane’s unstoppably wild nature both on- and off-screen, here’s a few choice selections from her porn work.

– Teaming up with dynamic ass-obsessed Romanian gymnast Lea Lexis, Tory’s ‘Wiccan Sisterhood’ scene for Brazzers’ Hot & Mean proves she’s just as fierce paired with a woman as with a man. The leather, chains, and heavy make-up only the scene more carnal.

Jules Jordan has captured Tory Lane at her finest and two scenes in particular prove this: paired with the woman who could be her hyper-slutty equal, Angelina Valentine, in Squirting Machines 2, Tory gapes, groans, and growls like a beast; but even that intense scene can’t match her totally unhinged Oil Overload #3 gangbang, a slippin’ and slidin’ and swearin’ air-tight DP bonanza!

– The relatively sane Bang Bros seem to fly into a frenzy whenever Tory Lane stop by, as evidenced by her infamous Tugjobs effort and a Fuck Team 5 scene that unleashed her, Claire Dames, and Alexa Jordan on the unsuspecting LA public.

– And then, of course, there’s Tory’s recent slate of appearances at “Porno Dan” Leal’s Immoral Live where she does almost everything: smokes cigarettes, diddles herself with a giant candy cane, squirts like a fountain, chokes Brooke Wylde, and rides a whole bunch of cocks, fists, and faces along the way.

Tory Lane is due in court for sentencing later this month. (Let’s just hope nobody breaks her two longstanding rules….)

Jules Jordan review

Sasha Grey Trolled into Ukrainian Conflict

Former pornstar and current… (what, red carpet walker and cameo role shooter?) Whatever she does for a living these days (an erotic novel, seriously?), Sasha Grey hasn’t shot porn since 2011 and therefore hasn’t been genuinely worthy of a porn industry headline in almost four years. Why, then, did Sasha pop up in news feeds around the world last week?

sasha grey

Major news outlets last week reported that Grey’s name and likeness had been appropriated by the propaganda machine lending support to Pro-Russian Separatists in eastern Ukraine, who had claimed in a social media post that the AVN Winner had died on the front lines of the current conflict. As detailed by the Moscow Times, the story told features a nurse named ‘Sasha Serova’ [Serova is similar to the Russian word for ‘grey’] who was “captured by Ukrainian military forces, who then filmed themselves ‘humiliating’ her before chopping her body up with an axe.” Grey, not known for shying away from controversial topics, quickly addressed the rumors on Twitter:

That’s it, folks! The very same woman a Rolling Stone profiler called “the smartest person I’ve ever met in the industry” has declared the Ukrainian conflict, like, all crapped out ’cause people are lying about her on the Internet. Had Ms. Grey waited a few days before Tweeting, she could’ve saved herself the embarrassment of placing the blame squarely on the wrong shoulders. And, who knows, perhaps she might’ve even reconsidered calling the incident “propaganda” – since, you know, it turns out it wasn’t.

Global Voices Online, among others, saw through the veil of irony and uncovered a plot by users of 2ch.hk  aimed at exposing the insipid gullibility of vatniks (supporters of Ukrainian Pro-Russian Separatists) with a very common and much loved tool: the troll quote. Made by placing a quote or factoid over the image of an unrelated pop culture icon to (intentionally) erroneously conflate the two, the troll quote meme has caused many white-knuckled imbeciles to fly into a rage spiral on 4chan and Reddit. This time, however, the trolling didn’t stop at the intended victim, spreading to the US media and Ms. Grey herself, who both seemed to interpret the alleged Russian propaganda as genuine and not the witty work of Ukrainian meme-mongers with only political satire in mind.