Fucking on the Fouth

Nicole Aniston

Britain has decided to leave the European Union but is already having second thoughts about its newly claimed independence. “But Britain was independent! Hell, many countries fought bravely to take their independence from the British, so what’s the deal?” Well, pal, “independence” is something of a buzz word in popular culture and has been at least since the release of the blockbuster sci-fi flick Independence Day in 1996. Now with a sequel in wide release and the media buzzing constantly about Brexit, the rise of independent politicians, and Earth-invading alien species, the spirit of independence, self-determination, and self-reliance runs high, but never as high as when we approach July 4th, the day the United States of America celebrates kicking the Brits to the curb. The porn industry always jumps at the chance to shoot freedom-themed, red-white-and-blue episodes in celebration of the holiday and this year all the usual suspects have once again come out to play in the name of the U.S. of A.

Oiled Independence Day arrives courtesy of the newly minted 4K Ultra-HD visual wonderland that is Lubed, stars lithe young blonde Ashlee Mae, and sees her peeling off a patriotic bikini beneath a backyard waterfall, sliding down a waterslide, then finally taking as much of one man’s cock as she can handle while laying back on the American flag. Rich visuals and plenty of POV shooting has made Lubed a site worth watching closely, and this holiday celebration merely adds icing to this very moist cake.

At Lubed’s sister-site, Passion HD, blazing hot natural newbie Kylie Page also dons a flag-print bikini and seduces a fella by the pool, shaking her ass and showing off her incredible curvy figure waist-deep in water. Finally emptying her beau’s load onto her sweetly smiling face, the ‘Blonde American Teen’ delivers an predictable but quietly powerful scene.

Naughty America usually pulls together something fun for the holidays and this year A Bangin’ 4th sees NA’s Virtual Reality capabilities used to great effect as Nicole Aniston confronts you pool-side for some rest, relaxation, and really intense sex. Eye contact is ample in this immersive POV scene as Ms. Aniston stares you down, stars-and-stripes bikini barely clinging to her amazing body, sucks you deeply then climbs aboard for the ride to sexual satisfaction and freedom from frustration. Also at Naughty America, Phoenix Marie won’t be seen in VR this 4th, but she does throw herself into an encounter with Johnny Castle, seducing his pizza delivery guy to sate the loneliness of an empty holiday party at home.

Brazzers’ entry into this year’s 4th of July porno slate carries the title Cumming to America and sees everyone’s favorite diminutive young Spanish porn stud, Jordi El Niño Polla ditch his brand-new American girlfriend when he finds himself surrounded by three foxy MILFs at a 4th of July BBQ. Richelle Ryan, Phoenix Marie, and the inimitable Julia Ann welcome Jordi El Niño Polla to the USA with a fourway romp away from his girlfriend’s jealous gaze.

So, this 4th of July, whether you’re basking the the toasty, fragrant embrace of a well-fueled BBQ, working for your corporate slave-drivers, or enjoying a sedate day off with loved ones, the porn world knows where you’d really rather be: neck-deep in primo pornstar pussy, exercising your hard-won sexual freedoms and leaving a trail to mark your territory all across the New World.

Brazzers Goes Parody Mad

Brazzers porn parodies

Brazzers, a porn studio long known for its colorful, irreverent approach to sex, is also no stranger to the porn parody, now a staple of most mainstream porn viewing habits. Recently, though, “The ZZ” has been outdoing itself when it comes to pop-culture homages, lampoon, tributes, and outright parodies, so I thought we’d take a look at what’s been causing Brazzers-fans to chuckle through their fap sessions of late.

So far 2016 has seen the X-Men, Spider-Man, Star Wars, World War Z, and Games of Thrones properties among those getting the hardcore ZZ treatment. Where the porn parodies of the 80s and 90s were largely low-budget affairs, Brazzers joins the likes of Axel Braun in throwing money at their parodies to bring fans explosive sex as well as literal explosions and other FX. Storm of Kings takes Game of Thrones and recasts it with slightly fewer dragons and vastly more whores (Peta Jensen, Aletta Ocean, Anissa Kate, and underutilized Aruba Jasmine starring) across four episodes.

XXX-Men didn’t garner more than two scenes, but they were well worth stopping by Pornstars Like it Big for back in late May. Nicole Aniston donned the blue bodypaint and red hair to play Mystique to be tag-teamed by Wolverine (Charles Dera) and Cyclops (Xander Corvus) after first we saw Patty Michova’s Psylocke undeniably attracted to Danny D’s Magneto dick. That might seem like a light treatment by ZZ, but there’s bound to be more X-Men movies ahead to provide even more ultimate cosplay porn.

Brazzers stuck with Marvel Comics, their clear favorite, for a while, bringing The Cat’s Meow to Brazzers Extra also in late May. Two Brazzers newcomers were introduced as Peter Parker/Spider-Man and his nemesis/fuck-buddy The Black Cat. Diminutive but big dicked Spanish 22-year-old Jodri El Niño Polla and Austrian Mila Milan filled the roles and costumes very nicely.

Apparently finding it hard to stay away from superheroes and science-fiction, Brazzers also ran Star Wars and World War Z through their parodical mash-up machine, the later being adding to over many months and now serving up six episodes starring Phoenix Marie, Peta Jensen, Tommy Gunn, and Ramon Nomar in the latest installment from April of this year. Timed to coincide with the release of The Force Awakens, Brazzers’ latest Star Wars parody was hardly the first to come from the porn world, but it featured Abby Cross as “Princess Lay” (slave outfit an all) and housecock Danny D as Boba Fuck, making it just as hard to resist as “TFA” was to the world at large.

Expert costuming and creative, colorful photography has really guided these more recent Brazzers parodies to all-new levels of faithful homage while mixing in that ol’ Brazzers standard style of colorful, hyperactive hardcore. We can only wonder what’s next on the agenda. Although by the looks of the upcoming Brazzers release schedule, this studio’s future already looks busy-as-hell. How the ZZ creative crew will find time to hit the multiplex is beyond me!

A New Year Porno After-Party

Jasmine James

New Year’s Eve has something for everyone: romantics can flit around a party hoping for that dreamy midnight kiss, curmudgeons have even more to complain about than usual, drunks are supplied with all the booze they could want, and the most sexually eager of us have plenty of opportunities to present themselves as the first of a year-long string of good decisions. Then again, with many NYE revelers left feeling not only hungover but generally disappointed in the party, the people, the moment itself, perhaps a New Year’s Day pick-me-up is what’s required. Something to steady your stomach, stiffen your dick, and lift your spirits, sir?

Brazzers is never a no-show to a party and this one is no different. Quietly popping online yesterday as a NYE warm up, MILFs Like it Big invited a super-busty British redhead to its NYE party and then made the mistake of letting her get bored. Jasmine James shows what can happen when a lonely and bored woman starts opening her host’s bedroom doors during a raucous NYE party only to find a college-aged Chris Diamond beating his meat. “Now here’s a party game I can get behind,” she thinks and starts her 2016 off to a rather felatious start, wearing a little ‘HAPPY NEW YEAR’ tiara the whole time!

Jasmine James

Pushing the partying even harder, though, is Naughty America site My Friend’s Hot Mom. Not content to lap up the attention and gratitude given the host of a successful party, Julia Ann finds herself flirting with Eva Notty. Whisked off to a spare bedroom, Eva soon finds Julia’s advances irresistible (but quite surprising since they’re both allegedly straight), only to have the throes of their liquor-ignited passion interrupted by Axel Aces. Hell bent on preventing their guests from finding out about their little tryst – why? who cares? be yourselves, ladies! – the pair of MILFy sexual mavens ensure his silence with some attention all his own.

Eva Notty and Julia Ann

Now, if this pair of New Year’s porn updates don’t have you looking at the rest of 2016 more fondly, perhaps they’ll give a little perspective and put your own erotic pursuits on the right track. Or perhaps they represent mistakes of the past year, opportunities not seized or shitty situations let stand. Either way, as you contemplate the year ahead and at the very least start 2016 off with a self-applied orgasm with Brazzers and Naughty America as stimuli, remember to keep your thoughts, your desires, your very 2016 firmly in the Pink.

Happy New Year!