December, 2014 | Mr. Pink's Blog

#BreakTheInternet with Bang Bros, Brazzers

A few weeks ago, Paper Magazine unleashed what has arguably proven to be its most important issue, but it wasn’t the articles contained within that courted controversy and saw readership expand thousand-fold, it was Kim Kardashian’s ass. The images are now legendary, having been passed around the Internet on seemingly every social media and news platform. In fact, the shots of Kardashian’s oiled rear end have even inspired a SNL parody starring Nicki Minaj and prompted one SAT prep company, Catalyst Prep, to use the most famous backside on Earth to gussy up math questions on an otherwise humorless paper. Now it’s porn’s turn.

Bang Bros site Ass Parade released on Monday their parody of Kim K’s now infamous cover shoot, casting the exquisite Kendra Lust and her astounding derriere and coming quite close to matching the styling of Paper’s shoot. With pearls wrapped around her neck and hanging from her earlobes, hair piled in a high wrapped bun, and wearing only the skimpiest black-and-white lingerie, Ms. Lust looks very much the part as she poses for the Ass Parade camera. Enter Mike Adriano and commence ass-eating, double-cumming, and a creamy facial that seals the deal.

Not one to be beaten on novelty, Brazzers enters the fray on New Year’s Eve with the much-hyped casting of Nikki Benz in Kim K’s place. Standing tall in a black sequined dress that amplifies her already amazing curves, Benz balances a champagne glass on her ass before sliding her dress down to reveal her cheeks. Enter Keiran Lee and commence… well, we’re not sure yet since the scene’s still under wraps until NYE. Talking to XBIZ, though, Ms. Benz let out a few teasers: “During our scene [Lee] was making me cum so much! I was so horny I just asked him to do something I haven’t asked another male performer to ever do, and he was more than happy to comply. I don’t want to reveal what it is yet. I guess you guys will have to stay tuned to find out!” For Keiran’s part, he called Benz “one of the all-time greats of porn” and promised her fans and his would both love this Brazzers pairing, declaring it “one of the most intense scenes I’ve ever performed in,” and confirming Benz’s adventurous performance ventures into new territory and will show fans “something they have never seen from Nikki Benz before.”

If those hints are hinting at what I think they’re hinting at, I have a feeling the esteemed ZZ might be right: if Kendra Lust as Kim Kardashian won’t #breaktheinternet then perhaps Nikki Benz’s new exploratory scene will.

Click here to see more assparade!

Japanese Vagina Artist Arrested (Again)

Megumi Igarashi, a Japanese artist keen on exploring taboo images of the human body’s many marvelous forms and functions, has been arrested in Tokyo for the second time after authorities suspected her of sending a url “that shows her plan to create a boat using three-dimensional obscene data to a large number of people”. Igarashi, who works under the name Rokudenashi-ko (“Good-for-nothing Girl”), was arrested on similar charges in July, charges relating to her efforts to raise funds for the production of a 3D-printed kayak made in tribute to her own genitalia.

“I don’t believe my vagina is anything obscene,” Igarashi told the press in July. “I was determined I would never yield to police power.” Her most recent arrest could see Igarashi charged with ‘distributing or holding obscene materials for the purpose of selling’ and facing a 2.5M Yen or USD $21,000 fine and/or up to two years in jail. And all for showing a replica of her genitals to art patrons and audiences who, odds are, either have similar physical makeups or have seen such body parts up close and personal many times before.

Article 175 of Japan’s Criminal Code, written in 1907 and remaining virtually unchanged in its present form, classifies depictions of pubic hair and genitalia as obscenity – hence the ridiculous pixelation of genitals in most Japanese porn – and could prove the undoing of controversial artist Igarashi, who is still being held even after the release of a women’s sex shop proprietor also arrested in connection with the enormously controversial work. Denying her visits from anyone aside from her legal team, Tokyo police appear to be relentless in their pursuit of a conviction, but not necessarily because of any alleged danger the artist’s work might pose to the public. Igarashi’s attorney, Takeshi Sumi admitted that “Since the arrest last time, [Igarashi] has been very vocal in her cartoons and speeches criticizing police. They seem to have arrested her again [her third without being yet indicted] again to safeguard their integrity.” Well, while it sure makes our local police issues seem like the fucking apocalypse in comparison, Megumi Igarashi’s story is one we should treat with the utmost seriousness.

First they came for the 3D-printed vagina kayaks…

MOFOs Launches Porn Drones

They call themselves “The motherfuckers of porn,” but, really, they’re more like the surveillance state of porn nowadays. MOFOs, the network home of sites like I Know That Girl and Let’s Try Anal launched a brand-new site this week called Drone Hunter and it takes a highly original and unusual view of sexual encounters, taking to the skies via a camera-equipped FlyPro X600 remote control drone unit and peering down on rutting couples as only birds and super-heroes previously could.

Drone Hunter’s unique porno perspective comes courtesy of two discreet recording devices: the aforementioned drone equipped with a GoPro Hero3+ HD video camera and a pair of “spy glasses” that, while looking like regular horn-rimmed specs, contains a tiny HD CMOS sensor capable of capturing 720p video from the wearer’s perspective. The resulting hardcore shoots are based on the premise that one dude is traveling the country with this equipment and a few helpers in tow. He meets and seduces hot girls, throws on his specs and captures POV sex tape footage while sending orders to his bros to do the same with the flying drone-carried camera. The girls, for their parts, play innocent and naive pretty well, appearing shocked and scrambling for a towel when they spot something lingering outside their 8th floor window.

Currently holding only five scenes – Gianna Nicole and Kaci Lynn in a lesbian tryst; Jennifer White, Alison Tyler, Mercedes Carrera, and Riley Rey in hetero hardcore romps – Drone Hunter is still finding its feet and could very well change its approach after just a few months online, perhaps aiming for a premise that doesn’t involve deceit, coercion, and stolen surveillance. Call me a momma’s boy if you want, but I like my pornstars to be obviously into what they’re doing, not shouting “Fuck you, you’re filming me, you asshole!” and running out of frame. But, hey, neat concept MOFOs. Keep flyin’.

UK Outlaws Fetish Porn

Lawmakers in the United Kingdom have passed The Audiovisual Media Services Regulations 2014, effectively placing an outright ban on UK-produced Video-On-Demand media depicting certain sexual acts (both fetishistic and fairly mundane) also banned from sale in brick-and-mortar adult stores. The British Board of Film Classification is notoriously rigid and restrictive when it comes to sexual content, barring uncut releases of non-pornographic films made by Ken Russell, Walerian Borowczyk, and Radley Metzger. This time, however, the BBFC isn’t just attacking extreme, dangerous or even abusive adult entertainment, it’s also unempowering to women.

Spanking, Caning
Aggressive whipping
Strangulation
Penetration by any object “associated with violence”
Fisting
Physical or verbal abuse (regardless of if consensual)
Urolagnia (known as “water sports”)
Role-playing as non-adults
Physical restraint
Humiliation
Female ejaculation
Facesitting

As you’ll note above, the list of now-banned acts is as baffling as the law is unwelcome. Sure, taking a tough stance on anything involving non-adults (even role-play) makes sense, but banning spanking, whipping, physical restraint, humiliation, fisting, and watersports will most certainly drive UK-based pornographers onto mainland Europe. Most infuriating, though, is the apparent assumption that women cannot (or should not) ejaculate – what other reason for its banning could there be besides “Well, it’s just urine, innit?” – and that “Facesitting” is not only being outlawed, but is listed along with strangulation and fisting as “life-endangering” activities. Sorry, BBFC, but you be fuckin’ crazy! Why, just last week a woman straddled my face and received oral pleasure not once, not twice, but three times and I’m still here to tell my tale, aren’t I? Fuck, James Deen made an entire movie about being smothered by big-ass beauties and he’s not only living, he’s rich!

“There appear to be no rational explanations for most of the R18 rules, anti-censorship campaigner Jerry Barnett told Vice. “They’re simply a set or moral judgments designed by people who have struggled endlessly to stop British people watching pornography.” From a woman’s perspective, Itziar Bilbao Urrutia, a British dominatrix, also registered her bafflement and outrage with Vice. “Why ban facesitting? What’s so dangerous about it? It’s a harmless activity that most femdom performers, myself included, do fully dressed anyway. Its power is symbolic; woman on top, unattainable.”

Yeah, unattainable, just like your sexual freedoms, female Britons. Fight the power!

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