The Sextape Situation: Part 1

A few years ago it seemed every female celebrity with any amount of drooling, ogling fans was the rumored subject of a homemade sextape, a pornographic movie shot by the participants who, aside from their noted celebrity, are otherwise everyday folks, not professional adult performers. You and your girlfriend shot some shaky iPhone footage that time on the commuter rail, right? Boom – that’s a sextape (although probably not a very good one). Stick a celebrity in an explicitly sexual situation and you’re looking at guaranteed millions in sales! Just ask Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee (or Brett Michaels) or Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian. Their sex tapes launched endless imitators but also landed them (or their jilted ex-lovers) hefty distribution contracts and the resulting profits. Then came Farrah Abraham…

Farrah Abraham Backdoor Teen Mom

The MTV Teen Mom hired James Deen to join her in shooting an allegedly authentic sextape that was soon revealed to be as orchestrated and emotionless and most celebrity ventures. Cue the backlash. Once one of America’s most ridiculed young women made a blatant attempt to cash in on her “private” sex life, sextapes seemed to become passe almost overnight. Abraham’s second sextape, 2014’s Farrah 2: Backdoor and More, was also beaten out at the recent 32nd AVN Awards by, of all people, the queen of MTV has-beens, Tila Tequila. While it’s clear both women produced their “amateur” sextapes for commercial release, not to privately record intimate moments, Abraham’s continued lies about the production, generally condescending and dismissive attitude towards the adult entertainment community, and the fact that Tequila not only included some backdoor action, but also its stars ejaculatory prowess. Undeniably inching closer and closer to actual pornography in the conventional sense, sextapes seem all but dead as a commercial adult, more so over at Vivid.

Then along came GirlsWay and the so-called Sextape Lesbians with another approach, one we’ll examine in full next week.

Visit GirlsWayGirlsWay review

The Interview Heads to Hustler

the interview

Now that Sony Pictures has cancelled all release plans for the controversial Seth Rogen, James Franco comedy The Interview, prospective fans are wondering if the film will find another life after the nightmare of its proposed theatrical release. North Korean supreme leader, King Jong Un has denied his government had connection to an invasive hack that brought Sony Pictures to its digital knees, a connection strongly suggested by media pundits. Americans are rightfully concerned that Sony’s bowing to the wishes of a cyber-terrorist group, no matter how dubious their origins, sets a precedent for erasing our hard-won freedom to laugh at whatever the fuck we want. And that, dear reader, is something Larry Flynt of Hustler Magazine holds very, very dear.

Telling the Hollywood Reporter that he’d “spent a lifetime fighting for the First Amendment,” and declaring that “no foreign dictator is going to take away [his] right to free speech,” Flynt announced This Ain’t The Interview XXX, his company’s parody version of the doomed political comedy. “If Kim Jong Un and his henchmen were upset before, wait till they see the movie we’re going to make.”

And, whaddya know, it appears President Obama might be right on Flynt’s side this time: “We cannot have a society in which some dictators someplace can start imposing censorship here in the United States because if somebody is able to intimidate us out of releasing a satirical movie, imagine what they start doing once they see a documentary that they don’t like or news reports that they don’t like. That’s not who we are. That’s not what America is about.”

No, he’s right. America’s about tits. Lots and lots of tits. (And maybe some heavy duty ass, too!)

Ain’t Dead Yet: XXX Parodies Still Kicking

Anyone who has sat and watched their favorite show’s entire run with back-to-back episodes in a single Netflix binge will know how devoted we can be to pop-culture in all its forms. Porn parodies, although fading from relevance thanks to more current trends – like the American adult industry and its fans collectively cumming in their trousers the current (and kinda creepy) pseudo-incest craze – are still something of a hot commodity in the adult entertainment world. So much so that Sex.com blogger Chico Dusty has come up with a list of his Top Ten Porn Parodies of 2014 to remind us all that there’s still life left in the old genre yet.

rambone bonnie rotten

DreamZone Entertainment seems to be coming out on top this year, at least according to Dusty, who ranks The Little Spermaid (dir: Jordan Septo), Cape Fear XXX (dir: Bonnie Rotten), and Rambone XXX: A DreamZone Porn Parody (dir: Septo). Axel Braun hasn’t fallen from his spot as the leading porn parody director and 2014 saw him release Spider-Man XXX 2, Cinderella XXX, and This Ain’t Game of Thrones XXX for Vivid, Wicked, and Hustler respectively. (For Dusty’s complete top ten – what, no love for One Flew Over the Cuckold’s Next, really?)

Although unique entries like Miley May’s first cover feature, the Miley Cyrus-spoofing Molly’s Wrecking Ballz and and Not Jersey Boys XXX (a genuine porn parody musical) made for some interesting viewing, most of the parodies included in Dusty’s list fit the usual bill: superheroes, perverted takes on Disney characters, and two Scorsese movies lampooned in a most lusty style. Fun, sure, but not exactly ground-breaking.

Are porn parodies growing stale or are they gradually getting better, bolder, and more outrageous? Perhaps 2015 will hold the answer, but if Axel Braun’s got anything to say about it it’ll be all spandex sporting sexual spoofs of waning interest to so many porn fans. Is pseudo-incest set to burst into the mainstream the way parodies did a few years back? Will they take over as porn virgins’ first viewings or is something else, something even more risque and tantalizingly taboo on the horizon?

Whatever the case, whether it shuffles off to let pseudo-taboo themes take center-stage or is reinvigorated by new talent and new ideas, 2015 is going to be an interesting year for parody porn.

Check out Adult DVD Empire Unlimited and VideoBox for more Porn Parodies.

Mr. Pink’s Annual Halloween Porn Report: Brazzers’ Dark Reign!

Brazzers

Every year porn studios, sites, and networks clamor to conceive and shoot the most original and most thrilling Halloween porn scene. This year, however, it’s barely even a competition. As outlined in my previous blog, the scant offerings from the pornosphere this year will no doubt leave many looking for a porn site as devoted to Halloween as they themselves are. That site, dear bleeder, is a network: Brazzers.

Kleio Valentein

Having already blogged about Brazzers’ exclusive Halloween series, American Whore Story earlier this month, it’s safe to assume readers and Brazzers fans both do not require an explanation of the (quite frankly idiotic and convoluted) plot. Instead let’s pick up where we left off with episodes four now online and featuring Kleio Valentien in a wild outdoor pussy-pounding by campfire. The climax of the story – you guys care about story, right? – is due for release on October 31st and stars everyone’s favorite queen of decadence, Bonnie Rotten! Finding himself alone with the otherworldly Ms. Rotten, who wears only Japanese shibari bondage ropes, Danny D, on the run from specters and ghouls, heads straight for her asshole and sends her squirting around a hotel room until it’s his turn to explode.

bonnie rotten

Now, you’d think one five-part series would be enough for Brazzers this Halloween, but the ZZ crew has been pumping out scarily sexy themed episodes since early October. First up was Carter’s Too Old for Trick or Treating, a Teens Like it Big scene starring Carter Cruise, Chanel Preston, and Keiran Lee and sees the young blonde ensnared by by her elders and thoroughly devastated orally, vaginally, and anally after ditching most of her leather outfit.

carter cruise

I’ve heard porn fans refer to Audrey Bitoni as a plasticized doll, but never as the creation of Dr. Frankenslut! A barbaric piecemeal superslut created by the mad scientist, Audrey wakes from her slumber and immediately desires cock. Good thing the doc’s assistant, Mick Blue is around and erect, then.

audrey bitoni frankenslut

Spoofing hit movie Paranormal Activity, Brazzers Extra sees the debut of British frizzy-haired ex-mainstream model Aruba Jasmine. With her boyfriend Ryan Rider, Aruba wants to make a sordid sex tape. The spirits inhabiting their house, however, object and make the homemade production a nightmare for the couple. But who’s this other British couple watching Aruba and Ryan try to get it on without the ghosts interrupting, a task at which they ultimately fail. Are they gonna try to fuck, too…?

aruba jackson

Released just three days before Halloween, part one of Baby Got Boobs’ World War XXX sees Corinna Blake and her stepbrother Jessy Jones courting their parents outrage by fucking on the sofa. There’s a plague going ’round, though, and it’s headed their way. Will Jessy paint his step-sis’s face before they’re both turned into… whatever the fuck these horrific looking humanoid creatures are! We’ll find out what happens to the fairer of the pair in part two, released October 29, as Corinna, now on the run, encounters fellow post-apocalyptic warrior, Johnny Sins and joins him for some much needed R-and-R (Brazzers-style, of course).

corrina blake

A pair of standalone episodes round out this year’s Halloween offerings from Brazzers, Big Tits in Uniform’s Sexy Halloween and MILFs Like it Big’s Weremilf. The latter scene introduces us to an substantially different Diamond Jackson. When a full moon shines down on her, Ms. Jackson develops an insatiable hunger for human penis. Luckily (for her), she finds Brick Danger nearby and ravenous devours him. Sexy Halloween is a little more sedate, though, and sees Richelle Ryan eager to enjoy her Halloween party as it’s the one night she can dress like an outright sexual deviant and get away with it. That is if “getting away with it” includes being pulled from her barely-there prison stripes and fucked hard by Mick Blue.

diamond jackson weremilf

Be sure to eat something more nutritious than a bucketload of candy when you’re celebrating spooks and specters this year. With all this incredible seasonal smut from Brazzers, you’re gonna need to be in peak condition to, uh, “enjoy” them all before Thanksgiving arrives.

world war xxx

Sincerely, from all of us at Mr. Pink’s, have a killer Halloween, Samhain, Allhallowtide, All Hallows’ Eve, All Saint’s Day, Totensonntag, Hop-tu-Naa, Calan Gaeaf, Allantide, Dia de los Muertos, Reformation Day, or whatever-the-fuck esoteric feast or festival you choose to celebrate come October’s end.