Porn | Mr. Pink's Blog - Part 123

The Return of ‘The Real Buttwoman’

When Alexis Texas swept the porn-viewing world by storm during the waning days of the first decade of the 21st century, thick-assed white women were where it’s at. Nowadays, nothing much has changed which makes today’s porn world ripe for the return of the blonde big-bootied marvel. Having announced an exclusive directing deal with Elegant Angel back in June of this year, Ms. Texas unleashed her EA debut, Big Booty Tryouts, was released soon after and confirmed that the queen of ass still retains the same rear-ended interests she did before taking a two-year break from shooting. But, really, Big Booty Tryouts was just the first taste of what Texas has lined up.

Appointed Elegant Angel’s official derriere deity back in 2008, Ms. Texas perfectly embodied the title that later went to Kelly Divine and most recently Jada Stevens, shooting her very first anal scene for Alexis Texas is Buttwoman. Not content to let other ass-tastic pornstars steal her spotlight, Elegant Angel has granted the returning star another chance to embody the Buttwoman moniker like nobody else can. The perfect showcase, of course, is The Real Buttwoman Returns, the latest in the series and the first directed by Texas. Joined by Abella Danger, Blair Williams, and enough erect men to create a gangbang (her first), this latest Alexis Texas joint might not be the first movie of her return, but it’s undoubtedly the first one that really matters. Alexis Texas is back, y’all, and she’s still fucking amazing!

The Real Buttwoman Returns is released from Elegant Angel’s vault on October 1st.

Phil Varone Returns to Rock

Motley Crue’s Tommy Lee dabbled in porn and so did Snoop Dogg, Ice-T, and Evan Seinfeld of hardcore legends Biohazard. Hell, Seinfeld even adopted the nom de porn ‘Spyder Jonez’ after marrying Tera Patrick and shooting a whole bunch of smut together. Recently putting Seinfeld’s nepotistic endeavors to shame, though, has been former Saigon Kick drummer Phil Varone, who just days ago announced his decision to ditch porn for the pure unadulterated carnal thrust of rock and roll!

A noted lothario and admitted swinger, Varone started documenting his on-the-road exploits in an official capacity with the 2011 Vivid Video release of ‘Phil Varone’s Secret Sex Stash,’ a “celebrity sex tape” that merely set the scene for Varone’s futher ventures into the world of porn production. In 2014 Varone even managed to win an AVN Award, Best Amateur Release for ‘100% Real Swingers: Meet the Rileys,’ just one title in a series that saw him expose the seedy partner-sharing underbelly of America as well as the secret swinging lifestyle of then porno it-girl Siri. Varone also entered the erotic novelties game with Dr. Philgood, a dildo molded from his own penis by Cal Exotics that even bares the penile piercing the drummer has slid into the snatches of groupies, swingers, amateur harlots, and pornstars like Siri but will now keep off-screen.

Varone’s keeping his exact reasons for leaving porn to himself, simply telling fans that he encountered enough douchebaggery in the industry to convince him drumming for hard rock bands is more his thing. Varone’s also retiring his talent agency, The V Agency, telling media “I have always offered my talent a very high level of personalized service, but returning to music and my other projects going on have made this very hard.” (Check out Phil’s Facebook page for more, dirtier revelations or, if you’re patient, you can order the man’s memoir, Un-Philtered or wait for his next, apparently being worked on as we speak.

Look, Phil, no hard feelings but if you’re out of porn I’ll also have to move on and find another stereotypical hard rocker through which to vicariously live my dreams of banging groupies, doing coke off of brand-new shiny hi-hats, and trying some grannies on for size (although that last part might’ve been a Phil Varone specialty).

So, paging Mr. Joshua Todd of Buckcherry…. Josh Todd of Buckcherry, would you please make some porno?

Mr. Pink’s Weekly Report – September 9th, 2015

What a week! Candida Royalle passed away and put me in a shitty mood for a while, but Mr. Pink bounced back just as he always does, bringing a slate of brand new porn reviews to your attention. This week saw four very different sites assessed by yours truly, sites focused on urination, transsexual hotties, homegrown Philly babes, and one of porn’s most acclaimed gonzo filmmakers. What did we discover? Well, VIPissy delivers a golden stream of content that should keep any watersports enthusiast entertained for weeks, Trans500 overcomes some odd casting with absurd trans-fucking scenarios, the hometown hotties of Hot Philly Models might be hot but they’re not quite “LA-hot,” and Jules Jordan, well, he proved that success needn’t ruin the man, it can instead spur him on towards bigger and better things. Speaker of bigger and better things, I’ll be back next week with (you guessed it) more exclusive, elucidating, and hopefully insightful porn reviews!

Beating on a Budget! with Team Skeet

Team Skeet may sound like a loosely organized community sports team that dons ski-masks to roam around anonymously ejaculating on unsuspecting women. It’s not, of course, but it does throw its seed around like it’s going out of style. The Team Skeet network is home to 27 exclusive hardcore sites dealing largely with teenage whores and their newly discovered fondness for adventurous sex. From your more basic Team Skeet endeavors (Teen Curves, Teens Do Porn, Teens Love Anal) to more outrageous efforts (Step Siblings, Teens Love Money, Innocent High), this network has courted controversy by casting teen and young adult performers eager to play the part of the not-quite-virginal woman looking for further experience with men, women…. anyone, really. Most sites are still updating on a consistent schedule and Team Skeet’s videos have never looked better than they do now, rendered cleanly and clearly in 1080p frames. Recent additions to the Team Skeet roster also prove exciting with anal adventuress Nicki Huntsman, brand-new redhead Kimberly Brix, bubbly blonde Cali Hayes, and tattooed cutie Vera Drake all stopping by for a rather physically-demanding visit. Usually charging $28.97 for a single month visit, Team Skeet’s current promotion offers one month inside the network for just $14.95 and you, you’d be mad for ignoring this dynamic and very colorful network.

THE MATH:
At that incredible price, this already great network suddenly seems to damn good to ignore any longer. If you assume you’ll only spend one month at Team Skeet – at least until you return to take advantage of a multi-month membership discount and be reacquainted with your favorite Skeet gals – the large exclusive archive can be boiled down to the following facts and figures: Teem Skeet’s 27 sites could be construed as costing a mere 55¢ each OR you could count the 2014 original hardcore scenes hosted here priced at 0.74¢ each. Either way, you’re looking at a very affordable way to gift yourself something special, something that’s only improving, and something that, if it were in the same room as you (and had a mouth) would probably blow you itself if it could!

Team Skeet review