Porn | Mr. Pink's Blog - Part 162

Claire Robbins: Don’t Call it a Comeback!

Before Katie St. Ives arrived on the LA porn scene and directed her piercing blue eyes down the barrel of every POV camera in town, solidifying her place in the mental spank-bank of thousands upon thousands of appreciative viewers, there was another young Californian attempting to cement her place in porn’s parade of amazingly sexual performers and she too had short sandy blonde hair, a disarming smile, and an apparently insatiable appetite for adventurous sex. That was Claire Robbins. She entertained and aroused her growing legion of fans from 2004 to around 2010 or 2011 and then seemed to exit porn as quietly as she’d entered, before she’d hooted and hollered her way through dozens upon dozens of intense anal piledrivers and demanding DPs. Deviants everywhere mourned the loss of another potential pornographic genius. Then, in the final weeks of 2012, this happened…

Look what the cat dragged in. #DontCallItAComeback xoCR twitter.com/xoClaireRobbin…

— Claire Robbins (@xoClaireRobbins) December 18, 2012

She’s back! Freshly inked with an Oakland A’s logo and two barely legible words on her inner elbows, and with a radically different hairstyle than her previous cropped ‘do, Claire Robbins returned to active porn duty with a blistering anal scene for Manuel Ferrara’s Evil Anal #17, her new look allowing her to slip past the sensors of many former fans. For a while, at least. After visiting San Francisco’s now infamous Kink headquarters to shoot an astounding seven scenes for the kinkiest company in porn. On Public Disgrace she had her ass plundered by man and woman and wooden bat in a haberdashery. For Fucking Machines she took on the Twininserter, the Hatchet, and the Intruder with vim and vigor. Her lilywhite behind took a beating from Maitresse Madeline in a live Whipped Ass shoot while Hardcore Gangbang saw Claire take on five guys in a vivid fantasy that had her imprisoned and physically abused in what appeared to be an immensely satisfying way roleplay. Everything Butt saw her team up with domme Krissy Lynn and fellow anal sub Bailey Blue for a dildo, speculum ‘n’ fisting party that saw everyones thighs twitching in orgasmic glee. It’s Claire’s two part, two day submission session for The Training of O that really impresses, though. Under the command of Jay Torque, the now-redheaded comeback cutie has her nipples clamped and stretched, all three main orifices pounded and gaped with all sorts of implements, cock included, is suspended from the ceiling by an elaborate rope construct, is chained to a heavy bucket and made to hold it while being whipped and spanked, and even has her ass opened by a metal plug while bound, gagged, and electro-pleasured with a Hitachi Magic Wand against her repeatedly cumming clitoris.

Holy shit, folks, fucking Claire Robbins is back in a big, big way – and what’s more, she shares my appreciation of union suits! (Only her ass looks a million times better in one that mine, I assure you.)

Lex Turns Evil

Lexington Steele isn’t just known as the biggest, blackest dick in porn, he’s also known as a savvy entrepreneur, one hell of a charming gentleman, and a damn good producer in his own right. Steele’s Mercenary Pictures studio has been pumping out intense interracial hardcore for years, many benefitting from Jules Jordan’s vision, cementing the man’s nickname and reputation as “The Impaler”. Now Lex is adding another performer/director collaboration to his resume and it’s for one of porn’s biggest, boldest, and most consistently groundbreaking studios: Evil Angel.

John “Buttman” Stagliano’s Evil Angel has one of the most impressive directorial rosters in porn: Manuel Ferrara, Bobbi Starr, Belladonna, Jay Sin, Mike Adriano, Nacho Vidal, and one of Steele’s heroes, the “Italian Stallion” himself, Rocco Siffredi. It’s this talented group that welcomes Steele to its fold, giving the three-time AVN Male Performer of the Year a new base of operations for his further adventures inside and rubbing against the tonsils, cervices, and pectinate lines of porn’s hottest women.

Talking to AVN, Steele promised to keep Mercenary Pictures going and explained that his Evil Angel deal would pair him with a talented director and editor in Kevin Moore (Panty Pops, Crack Fuckers) and women like Asa Akira, Chanel Preston, and Jada Stevens in monthly releases, the first of which, the appropriately entitled Lex Turns Evil, is due this month. Clearly this is an endeavor that means a lot to Steele. “I hope that people who’ve seen me in other productions pick my [Evil Angel] stuff up and enjoy it. I take pride in my name and the reputation I’ve built, and now with Evil Angel, I’m taking it to the next level.”

Fuck to Play: Negotiating a Record Deal with Life Selector – Pt. 3

So, I’m trying to fuck band manager Simony Diamond and have her sign my garage band to one hell of a deal, but she’s reluctant. Why? ‘Cause I’m a godawful guitar player who jumps ahead, pulling out his dick when nothing positive, not even your most basic pleasantry, has been exchanged. Simony already rejected me once, but thanks to Life Selector’s resume/revise options, I can take a few steps back and adjust my tactics.

Instead of whipping it out as abruptly as Eddie Murphy does in Bowfinger when cornering those saucy Lakers Girls, this time I play it more cool, letting my fingers wander up Simony’s thigh. Now, this is clearly more her speed! Parting her legs and quickening her breathing, she’s reacting just as I’d hoped she would. I can’t stop there, though, not with a woman this incredibly seductive at my virtual fingertips. Life Selector presents a choice: a twix attack (two fingers, two holes) or grabbing a finger-sized vibe to help my would-be Svengali cum. Since I’m trying to land myself a killer deal and a platinum record or ten, I opt for the later. She cums hard, gasping for air as her thighs quiver. So far, so good.

Now she wants to, in the words of Dirk Diggler, “feel my heat”. I’m not even given an option here, it’s fuck or nothing, so I fuck. Missionary and doggy are my position options, but I can also fuck her anally, grab that vibe and make her cum again, or skip straight to my own climax; where’s the fun in that? Do I spend the eight additional token it’ll cost to butt-fuck this Hungarian rock exec? How do I know she won’t freak out and show me the door? I suppose I don’t and won’t unless I take the rear-passage plunge, so I dump my tokens and am instantly inside her ass, plugging away.

Strangely, this immediate leap to the next selected activity can make Life Selector feel less than truly interactive porn and more like a selection of clips that play at a moment’s notice, ’cause that’s exactly what it is. After pounding her ass for a while, I decide it’s time to blow this joint (so to speak) and hit the ‘Cumming’ button. Suddenly she’s not on her back but her knees and I’m not fucking her ass but her pussy. How did this happen? What smooth line did I attempt while turning her over? These are the little erotic treasures missing from Life Selector. Even if the life you desire is filled with impersonal romps with complete strangers who are just as likely to dismiss you as they are bend over and grab their ankles, don’t you want to experience the little things? Isn’t it just like Al Pacino’s Ricky Roma tells a client in Glengarry Glen Ross? That of the great fucks you may have had, the thing you remember probably isn’t your orgasm; it’s something her hair did, something she said… the things Life Selector seems to be missing.

Whatever the case, fucking Simony Diamond in the ass got me and my bandmates to our first show. Check out these adoring fans!

But with the burning need for mass adoration driving me back to the garage to practice and dream, what’s next for the guitar-slinging, groupie-fucking, Madison Square Garden-filling Mr. Pink?

Ass or Artwork? You Be the Judge!

MrPinks Breast implants are so prevalent in the adult entertainment industry that it’s far more surprising to find a successful, popular pornstar whose breasts haven’t been adjusted or augmented by a surgeon. Inflated lips are also quite common – Angelina Valentine, Andi Anderson, Amy Brooke, Ava Devine et al. But what of that other all-important body part, the on so many pornstars thrust toward camera at every opportunity? What, dear reader, about artificially enhanced rear ends?

After trawling the message boards of numerous popular adult sites, including Adult DVD Talk and FreeOnes, I came up with a list of women who’ve allegedly gone under the knife to pump up their asses and cement their positions as PAWG (Phat Ass White Girls). Or, more accurately, I came up with a pictorial assemblage of booties for you to inspect and determine, without knowing the owner, whether they’ve been hand-crafted by the finest cosmetic artisans in the surgery business or they’re all-natural gifts of genetic circumstance.

Any readers who Tweet me their verdict for Most Obviously Enhanced Ass in Porn as well as name of said ass’s owner will win a coveted Mr. Pink’s No-Pri… uh, Anti-Prize! (Yeah, take that, Marvel copyright enforcers!) So get to observin’, assessin’ and Tweetin’, buttmen!