Porn | Mr. Pink's Blog - Part 188

Happy Horny Holidays! Pt. 1

With Christmas rapidly approaching, you’re not doubt stressing over gifts for loved ones, meal preparations, what to do if you run out of beer on the 25th, and how to avoid your Father-in-law’s constant belittling of your career choice and financial stability (or lack thereof). Thank ol’ Saint Nick the greatest porn networks of the WWW have started celebrations a little early by providing you with Christmas-themed hardcore scenes that take the edge of the all-too-common holiday season blues. Here’s a rundown of what you’ll find on the ‘net’s smuttiest domains:

– Brazzers kicked things off with a bang on December 20th on Teens Like it Big, where you’ll find gorgeous young Lexi Bloom sitting on Santa’s lap and feeling something press against her thigh. Soon enough, Lexi receives a very special face-covering gift from ol’ Saint Nick! Over at MILFs Like it Big, black-haired, busty scrooge, Lesley Zen is taken to task by Keiran Lee for her lack of Christmas spirit.

– Reality Kings serves up a solid pair of holiday-themed fuckfests, the first of which is on lesbian site We Live Together. Bree Daniels, Sammie Rhodes, and Chloe Lynn agree to exchange presents early, but Bree and Sammie race ahead and try out their brand-new dildos on Chloe before she even has a chance to unwrap her gift. Euro Sex Parties keeps it festive with Rebbeka and Vanessa Gold distracted from their tree decorating by two guys bearing presents of a highly unusual nature.

– Not to be outdone by those zany Europeans, the Naughty America team have already thrown up one fantastic Christmas scene on their Naughty Office site, with another one, this time for My Dad’s Hot Girlfriend arriving on the 23rd. The former stars newcomer Paige Turnah as an office drone who giddily drags her studly co-worker away from the Christmas party for some private celebrations; the latter sees a unfathomably sexy Ms. Claus (Nicole Aniston) double-teamed by two studly elves when they’re supposed to be helping her cart toys to an orphanage.

Now, if only you get that WiFi-enabled tablet computer you asked for, you can escape to the bathroom when it all gets too much, lock the door, and vicarious plunder the pussies of Santa’s foxiest little helpers while your family muses about whether potato salad should or should not include bacon bits.

Ken Russell’s Posthumous 3D Porno Masterpiece

The international cinema community was saddened to learn late last month of the sudden death of controversial British filmmaker Ken Russell. Director of such bold cine-sexual experiments as Whore, The Devils, Salome’s Last Dance, and Women in Love, Russell was notoriously obsessed with sexuality and the Roman Catholic church. Passing away at the age of 84, Russell left a number of projects unfinished, one of which was a remake of producer Bill Osco’s 1976 X-rated musical comedy of Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland… in 3D! The remake was in the final scripting stages and was a collaborative effort by Osco and Russell, but will now go into production as a tribute to the last filmmaker. The original film cost just $500,000 to produce, but ended up raking in more than $100 million in box office sales. With no word on the proposed budget for the 3D remake, we can only assume it would cost substantially more. Russell’s cinematic flamboyance and Osco’s clout as the producer of one of the premiere hits of porn’s Golden Age, make for a uniquely intriguing project and one that will surely be as controversial, exuberant, and salacious as Russell’s memory demands.

Kelly Madison’s 900th Scene

Genuine milestones are rarely appreciated in the adult industry, with accolades instead going to a female performer’s first anal or double-penetration scene. A few months ago, however, Kelly and Ryan Madison reached their 400th Porn Fidelity episode and celebrated with Sophie Dee, Phoenix Marie, Yurizan Beltran, McKenzie Lee, and Samantha Saint in a seven-person scene entitled ‘The Bangover’. Porn’s most notorious married couple didn’t stop there, however. This week saw Kelly’s main site, Kelly Madison dot com, add its 900th scene!

Having been active online for over ten years now, it makes sense that Kelly’s site would end up with such a huge collection, but, man, NINE HUNDRED SCENES, all of them exclusive and originally created by Kelly & Co. – that’s certainly an achievement to be proud of. So, how did Kelly celebrate this particular milestone, you ask? Well, she grabbed her dear darling husband, Ryan, and threw him into the middle of a three-girl sandwich with herself and two other mega-busty blonde sluts. Shooting a load on each set of undulating breasts – three loads; whatta man! – Ryan seems to be getting all the gifts whenever he and Kelly throw a party. Not only is Kelly Madison an AVN and XBiz Award winner, she’s a devoted wife, an awesome lay, and one heck of a sweet gal.

Here’s to 900 more!

Porn Industry Faces Mandatory Condom Act

In the upcoming June elections, Los Angelenos will be asked to vote on whether or not to pass a new measure that would force porn producers to agree to wear condoms in all adult shoots in the Los Angeles area. Failing to do so would give governing body FilmLA cause to deny shooting permits and could potentially cripple the now thriving adult entertainment industry. Initiated by For Adult Industry Responsibility (FAIR), a front group for AIDS Healthcare Foundation (AHF), the measure has obtained almost double the 35,000 signatures required to place a measure on the ballot. The superficial elements of the condom issue aside, the details of the proposed ordinance, called “City of Los Angeles Safer Sex in The Adult Industry Act,” are largely unknown to the public. You, dude, you’re the public! The porn watching public, no less, so don’t you think you should know what’s has the potential to go down come June 2012? Here’s a breakdown of the two main issues:

– All adult producers would be required to have performers agree to wear condoms and to”maintain engineering and work practice controls…sufficient to protect employees from exposure to blood and other potentially infectious materials,” in order to receive a FilmLA shooting permit for LA City productions.

– FilmLA would be required to ask a higher fee of adult productions companies in order to cover the costs of “periodic inspections,” and considering how frequently and widely porn is shot in LA, that’s a ton of money leaving the hands of adult producers.

Opponents of the proposed ordinance are saying it infringes on the constitutional right to freedom of speech and expression – the right of consenting adults to fuck on camera sans rubbers – and have decried it as imposing healthcare responsibilities and the policing thereof on what is essentially an administrative department. Me, well, I don’t see folks fucking any way but bareback in my fantasies, so why would I accept condoms in porn? Of course, in real life everyone should be practicing safe sex, but porn ain’t real life, is it?