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In Celebration of Asses

Today, dear reader, is National Ass Day and although I’ve no idea where this unofficial day of celebratory derriere worship originated, it was hash-tagged on Twitter (#NationalAssDay) and is therefore legitimate. If you follow Mr. Pink’s on Twitter, you would’ve seen me posting and retweeting some incredible backsides throughout the day, but if you don’t and didn’t here’s something tasty in praise of asses: the greatest rear-ends in porn!

Jynx Maze

Jessie Rogers

Alexis Texas

Rachel Starr

Rebeca Linares

Feel I’ve neglected some deliciously endowed women and their perfectly-proportioned rumps? Lemme know and join in the celebrations!

Naughty America’s 5,000th Scene Celebration

Naughty America 5000th scene Naughty America has long been a staple of many porn fans’ viewing diets. With such notable and highly lauded sites as I Have a Wife, Ass Masterpiece, My First Sex Teacher, and Seduced by a Cougar, the immense network has acted out the fantasies of every guy in America, and has garnered some very approving reviews from yours truly in the process. Now, eight years after the very first Naughty America scene was unleashed upon an audience, the company that claims “Nobody does it better,” celebrates a remarkable milestone: it’s 5,000th scene.

Thanks to consistent multiple daily updates and years of impressive porn productions, Naughty America has managed to reach its 5,000th scene before plenty of other networks and it’s celebrating in style. India Summer, winner of XBIZ’s MILF of the Year award for 2012, takes the starring role in this American Daydreams scene and daydream she does. After dinner and a movie, India is all ready to pounce on her husband, but he took a rare moment of solitude to beat off, cum, and fall asleep while she was undressing in the bathroom. Like a supreme dope, he left his iPad lying on his lap as he floated into dreamland. India picks up the tablet, sees that he was watching a Naughty America scene. Sexually frustrated and horny as hell, India gazes at the woman that made her husband blow and starts fantasizing about a career in porn herself.

Approaching India’s front door is a Naughty America rep who tells viewers Ms. Summer is in for a big surprise. With flowers, a tiara, and a trophy, not to mention Johnny Sinns, ready to fuck, India is crowned Miss Five Thousand and given the chance to be a pornstar for a day. Not one to fuck around, figuratively speaking, India quickly drags Johnny inside, tears off her blouse and skirt, and proceeds to let her inner slut loose. What follows, dear reader, is a scene loaded with celebratory energy and a joyous exuberance not seen since, well… Ah, fuck it. Check it out for yourself.

Congratulations, Naughty America! You’ve done us proud.

Lexi Belle Grows Up

Even though she had once declaratively stated that her anus was “too tiny” for penile penetration, everyone’s favorite pixie of porn, Lexi Belle, has relented and shot her very first anal sex scene. What made her finally changed her mind? Was it the clamoring of her adoring fans, an opening in anal master James Deen’s schedule, or a big, fat paycheck? Was it even, perhaps, just the right offer at the right time.

In the lengthy introductory interview segment of the scene, which can be found in Elegant Angel’s new release ‘Lexi’, the bubbly and clearly excited Ms. Belle explains that in this, her seventh year in adult entertainment, she found that many of her sexual firsts – first blowjob, first threesome, first time with a woman – had been on camera, “on display for you” she says, referring to her fans. She admits to having grown up on camera and says “There comes a time when you… grow up a little bit more. This year I’m gonna be 25 and [I’m] gonna try something different, something big.”

That something big is James Deen. He’s been many pornstars’ first on-screen anal experience and Lexi couldn’t be in more capable hands. While I won’t go into detail about the scene itself aside from saying that, yes, it definitely was worth the wait, I will ask you, Mr. Pink’s readers, who’s left. Now that long-time anti-anal performer Lexi Belle has finally opened herself up in a new way, who remains that hasn’t taken one in the rear for her viewing audience? And while I may be overestimating my influence in this industry, if you let me know whose ass you’re dying to see pounded, I’ll tweet the hell out of her and make sure she knows!

Until then, here’s a taste of what’s in store for Lexi in her first self-titled feature with Elegant Angel’s trailer.

Seth MacFarlane: Too Busy for Porn

Seth MacFarlane, cartoonist, voice actor, movie director, and Michael Bublé-wannabe, is entering a new phase of his career with a just-announced hosting gig at the 85th annual Academy Awards this coming February. So in-demand is the Family Guy and Ted creator that he’s had to turn down other hosting gigs because he’s too busy. No, not another Comedy Central roast (he’s already done two), but the most prestigious awards ceremony in the nation, the AVNs.

Having offered MacFarlane a gig manning the mic at the upcoming 2013 ceremony, AVN was no doubt disappointed to find the crown prince of televised vulgarity was just too damn busy to present the not-entirely-unphallic glass trophies to porn’s best and bangingest come January next year. As the host of what will be the 30th anniversary of the AVN Awards, MacFarlane could’ve had his choice of porno pussy, but since he just signed a $100 million deal with Fox, I doubt he’s all that hard up for sexual favors.