While reviewing that premiere Golden Age movie emporium, The Classic Porn, I started to reminisce about the times when I had first viewed pornographic videos. Badly dubbed VHS tapes passed down from friend to friend; magnetic tape warped at crucial moments from too frequent pausing; barely legible titles scrawled on a piece of yellowed masking tape slapped on the cassette. I watched a few tapes with friends before smuggling them back home for a night alone when nobody else was around. Now that I spend most of my days looking at contemporary hardcore porn, these adult videos of old hold a very special place in my… well, in my heart, I suppose. Still, I’ve never managed to track down the few more memorable explicit sexual dramas of my youth.
One title I did manage to find on The Classic Porn is White Trash, Black Splash – a 1988 interracial title starring Gail Force, Jeannie Pepper, and Randy West, directed by John “Buttman” Stagliano. Featuring the most memorable post-cumshot dialog in all my porn viewing history, “As we say in de ghetto, ‘Ain’t nothin’ like a funky house party!'”, this movie wasn’t too hard to track down considering I knew it a) was interracial, and b) starred the inimitable Randy West. For me, though, this one movie just isn’t enough. I need to once again feel the thrill of seeing a black-bob-wigged, fake-titted harlot straddle the detective investigating her, ignoring anyone else that may be in the precinct at the time, and lead him to a massive face-based discharge. I need to see said detective strapped to a bondage device and taken by a blonde vixen who, in a likelihood, is the murderer/arsonist/shoplifter he’s been pursuing all along. The problem is, folks, I have no idea who any of these people are or what the film in question is called.
Surely someone out there is working on a site that would allow users to input a number of criteria – like, say, in this instance: detective, bondage, suspect, black hair, fake breasts, Hollywood, sex in chair, 1990s, and whatever else my booze-addled memory might be able to drum up – and be given a list of possible suspects. I mean, it’s basically like a more detailed and, I don’t know, helpful version of IAFD, isn’t it? Come on, who can I turn to for help in this arduous decade-long pussy hunt?
Until then, dear readers, feast your eyes on what got a much younger and less jaded Mr. Pink all riled up: White Trash, Black Splash!