Adult Movies | Mr. Pink's Blog

Freddy Goes Fingering

Director Lee Roy Myers is back at it again with another nightmarish follow up to The Human Sexipede, his XXX parody of cult horror hit, The Human Centipede. As reported by horror movie site Dread Central, Myers next project parodies one of horror’s most revered icons, Freddy Krueger. A Wet Dream on Elm Street, due for release on September 29 (just in time for Halloween), is a concept Myers is sure will go down marvelously with the parody-loving porn-viewing public, saying “It’ll be funny, sexy, dark and very, very different. This is the porn parody that I always wanted to do…Freddy, with dildos on his fingers!”

A Wet Dream on Elm Street pits a dildo-fingered “Freddy Fingers” (Anthony Rosano) against Jennifer White, Gracie Glam, Charley Chase, Giselle Leon, and Sophie Dee in what promises to be a nation-wide frat-house hit. Teaser images have already started causing a stir on the adult blogosphere with some keyboard-pounders even going so far as to declare 2011 the beginning of a “golden age of porn parodies.”

What then, Tumblr, Twitter, AVN et. al., do you make of this…

Teaching the Feminine Touch

Most “lesbian” porn movies tend to err on the side of appealing to the mostly male audience’s basest instincts and render their depictions of sapphic love in broad, rough strokes. Kissing is essentially a mutual tongue lashing that is quickly discarded in favor of acts more aggressive than sensual; dildos are ferociously plunged into every available orifice, breasts are pinched, squeezed, and slapped, and the performers throw their heads back, whipping their hair around in apparent ecstasy, while a large portion of porn fans still long for girl-on-girl sex scenes that are explicit but sensual, hardcore but still intimate.

Elegant Angel, a studio well known for its high production values and impressive roster of adult superstars, recently launched their new lesbian brand, Club 59 and aim to produce up to a dozen new DVD releases each year while also developing a members-only website, both of them offering the finest authentic all-female sex. Of particular interest is the recently released title Teach Me, a production that brings together an older, more experienced woman with a relative newcomer. Starring such promising pairings as Julia Ann & Jessie Andrews, Darla Crane & Allie Haze, Zoey Holloway & Dani Daniels, and Lisa Ann & Jana Jordan, Teach Me sees offers something far more authentically seductive and sensual while still retaining the fervent lust upon which these performers have built their reputations.

The Teach Me trailer can be seen here.

Jessica Drake Sucks (in the best way possible)

Following in the footsteps of other adult instructional video releases like Penny Flame’s Expert Guide to Rough Sex and Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Advanced Anal Sex, Wicked Pictures contract star and noted sex educator, Jessica Drake will soon unleash a guide to giving head. The first in a three-part line of instructional DVDs entitled Jessica Drake’s Guide To Wicked Sex, Fellatio features noted cocksuckers Bobbi Starr, Jordan Kingsley and Allie Haze dropping to their knees in front of Danny Mountain, Eric Masterson, and Chris Johnson while Ms. Drake – or should that be Dr. Drake? – imparts the wisdom years of licking glans, stroking balls, and swallowing cum has given her.

Bobbi Starr, known for her intense deep throating abilities tells Drake and the female viewers at which this release is targeted that eating an orange before going downtown aids deep tonsil tickling penetration by increasing saliva production while relative newbie Allie Haze sucks off Mr. Masterson while partially immersed in a bubble bath. Unfortunately, Drake, an expert cocksucker, only appears in an instructional role, leaving fans to seek out some of her award-winning blowjobs on their own.

While I’m sure Jessica and her pole-smoking team of porno superstars will do a great job licking, slurping, sucking, and gagging, hasn’t this been seen quite a few times before? Really, if there needs to be another instructional fellatio DVD, shouldn’t it be presented by the one woman for whom blowjobs appear to be her very raison d’être, the incomparable Charley Chase?

Oriental Ecstasy in the Third Dimension

Years ago, back when VHS still reigned supreme, I manned the counter and cleaned the shelves of a video rental store. Wandering into the adult section, as I was wont to do on a daily basis, I stumbled upon an erotic film from Hong Kong entitled Sex & Zen II. Although I was never game enough it myself, the title stuck with me for years. Imagine my surprise then, when a 3D sequel to what I thought was an obscure Oriental skin flick became the highest grossing Category III (18 years and over) film in Hong Kong’s history, in addition to beating the tied record held by Avatar and Titanic for highest opening gross, raking in HK$2.79 million over James Cameron’s dual takes of HK$2.5.

August 12th finally saw the US release of 3D Sex & Zen: Extreme Ecstasy and, although it’s only playing in one theater in the entire state of California – ironically not even in “The Entertainment Capital of the World”, Hollywood – the latest installment of the Sex & Zen series is attracting movie goers willing to shed their inhibitions, pay a premium price for 3D glasses, and enjoy a rather corny and cliche adaptation of the ancient Chinese equivalent of the Karma Sutra, The Carnal Prayer Mat.

What about American productions, though? When will we see a theatrical release of an erotic film, either softcore or hardcore, shot in three dimensions on our own shores? Until that eventually, inevitably comes to pass we’ll have to content ourselves with Gianna Michaels nude parasailing in the 2010 monster flick, Piranha 3D.