Porn | Mr. Pink's Blog - Part 160

Lex Turns Evil

Lexington Steele isn’t just known as the biggest, blackest dick in porn, he’s also known as a savvy entrepreneur, one hell of a charming gentleman, and a damn good producer in his own right. Steele’s Mercenary Pictures studio has been pumping out intense interracial hardcore for years, many benefitting from Jules Jordan’s vision, cementing the man’s nickname and reputation as “The Impaler”. Now Lex is adding another performer/director collaboration to his resume and it’s for one of porn’s biggest, boldest, and most consistently groundbreaking studios: Evil Angel.

John “Buttman” Stagliano’s Evil Angel has one of the most impressive directorial rosters in porn: Manuel Ferrara, Bobbi Starr, Belladonna, Jay Sin, Mike Adriano, Nacho Vidal, and one of Steele’s heroes, the “Italian Stallion” himself, Rocco Siffredi. It’s this talented group that welcomes Steele to its fold, giving the three-time AVN Male Performer of the Year a new base of operations for his further adventures inside and rubbing against the tonsils, cervices, and pectinate lines of porn’s hottest women.

Talking to AVN, Steele promised to keep Mercenary Pictures going and explained that his Evil Angel deal would pair him with a talented director and editor in Kevin Moore (Panty Pops, Crack Fuckers) and women like Asa Akira, Chanel Preston, and Jada Stevens in monthly releases, the first of which, the appropriately entitled Lex Turns Evil, is due this month. Clearly this is an endeavor that means a lot to Steele. “I hope that people who’ve seen me in other productions pick my [Evil Angel] stuff up and enjoy it. I take pride in my name and the reputation I’ve built, and now with Evil Angel, I’m taking it to the next level.”

Fuck to Play: Negotiating a Record Deal with Life Selector – Pt. 3

So, I’m trying to fuck band manager Simony Diamond and have her sign my garage band to one hell of a deal, but she’s reluctant. Why? ‘Cause I’m a godawful guitar player who jumps ahead, pulling out his dick when nothing positive, not even your most basic pleasantry, has been exchanged. Simony already rejected me once, but thanks to Life Selector’s resume/revise options, I can take a few steps back and adjust my tactics.

Instead of whipping it out as abruptly as Eddie Murphy does in Bowfinger when cornering those saucy Lakers Girls, this time I play it more cool, letting my fingers wander up Simony’s thigh. Now, this is clearly more her speed! Parting her legs and quickening her breathing, she’s reacting just as I’d hoped she would. I can’t stop there, though, not with a woman this incredibly seductive at my virtual fingertips. Life Selector presents a choice: a twix attack (two fingers, two holes) or grabbing a finger-sized vibe to help my would-be Svengali cum. Since I’m trying to land myself a killer deal and a platinum record or ten, I opt for the later. She cums hard, gasping for air as her thighs quiver. So far, so good.

Now she wants to, in the words of Dirk Diggler, “feel my heat”. I’m not even given an option here, it’s fuck or nothing, so I fuck. Missionary and doggy are my position options, but I can also fuck her anally, grab that vibe and make her cum again, or skip straight to my own climax; where’s the fun in that? Do I spend the eight additional token it’ll cost to butt-fuck this Hungarian rock exec? How do I know she won’t freak out and show me the door? I suppose I don’t and won’t unless I take the rear-passage plunge, so I dump my tokens and am instantly inside her ass, plugging away.

Strangely, this immediate leap to the next selected activity can make Life Selector feel less than truly interactive porn and more like a selection of clips that play at a moment’s notice, ’cause that’s exactly what it is. After pounding her ass for a while, I decide it’s time to blow this joint (so to speak) and hit the ‘Cumming’ button. Suddenly she’s not on her back but her knees and I’m not fucking her ass but her pussy. How did this happen? What smooth line did I attempt while turning her over? These are the little erotic treasures missing from Life Selector. Even if the life you desire is filled with impersonal romps with complete strangers who are just as likely to dismiss you as they are bend over and grab their ankles, don’t you want to experience the little things? Isn’t it just like Al Pacino’s Ricky Roma tells a client in Glengarry Glen Ross? That of the great fucks you may have had, the thing you remember probably isn’t your orgasm; it’s something her hair did, something she said… the things Life Selector seems to be missing.

Whatever the case, fucking Simony Diamond in the ass got me and my bandmates to our first show. Check out these adoring fans!

But with the burning need for mass adoration driving me back to the garage to practice and dream, what’s next for the guitar-slinging, groupie-fucking, Madison Square Garden-filling Mr. Pink?

Ass or Artwork? You Be the Judge!

MrPinks Breast implants are so prevalent in the adult entertainment industry that it’s far more surprising to find a successful, popular pornstar whose breasts haven’t been adjusted or augmented by a surgeon. Inflated lips are also quite common – Angelina Valentine, Andi Anderson, Amy Brooke, Ava Devine et al. But what of that other all-important body part, the on so many pornstars thrust toward camera at every opportunity? What, dear reader, about artificially enhanced rear ends?

After trawling the message boards of numerous popular adult sites, including Adult DVD Talk and FreeOnes, I came up with a list of women who’ve allegedly gone under the knife to pump up their asses and cement their positions as PAWG (Phat Ass White Girls). Or, more accurately, I came up with a pictorial assemblage of booties for you to inspect and determine, without knowing the owner, whether they’ve been hand-crafted by the finest cosmetic artisans in the surgery business or they’re all-natural gifts of genetic circumstance.

Any readers who Tweet me their verdict for Most Obviously Enhanced Ass in Porn as well as name of said ass’s owner will win a coveted Mr. Pink’s No-Pri… uh, Anti-Prize! (Yeah, take that, Marvel copyright enforcers!) So get to observin’, assessin’ and Tweetin’, buttmen!

Fuckin’ Like a Rock Star with Life Selector – Pt. 2

“Rock chicks like it rough, don’t they?” With that and my desire to entertain thousands at the biggest stadiums in the country in mind, I chose to pull the hair of my very first groupie mid-blowjob. The young lady doing the blowing, the one I previously identified as Simony Diamond, is in fact someone else entirely. (Life Selector isn’t as clear as it should be when identifying its models.) Whoever she is, her accent is trés sexy, her fashion sense is somewhere between Avril Lavigne and Jenna Haze in groupie mode, and she seemed to respond well to my virtual hair-pulling; so well that she’s decided something else is in order. Now, do I want a handjob (nah), to explode on her face (maybe) or fill her mouth with my seed (perhaps). For visual flair, I’ll choose a facial. And with that, dear reader, I blast my nameless first groupie from brow to chin, huffing and puffing as I make my deposit. She seems satisfied enough, but I’ve still got rock star dreams to fulfill. Which brings me to (the real) Simony Diamond.

Reclining on a sofa, tattoos on full display, iPhone (in KISS case) in her hand, texting, band manager Simony Diamond looks up to greet me.
“Hi, I’ve heard about you,” she says in a thick Hungarian accent and pointing to a purple Gibson Les Paul, she asks to be shown some of my skills. From the way she continues texting and occasionally rolling her eyes, I can tell she’s not an fan of poorly composed, inauthentic sounding midi-guitar. Another choice appears: Do I show her my “finger technique” or impress her with “my other great skill” (a.k.a.: my dick!)?

This being the virtual fulfillment of my destiny, I pull my dick out and expect her to leap on it. After all, it’s a pretty hefty thing and she doesn’t seem that enthralled in her heavy metal magazine. With my cock out and erect, I sit there on the sofa before the incredible Simony Diamond. She bolts upright! “Hey, go out, motherfucker!” she yells, pointing towards the door. “Shit! Go out!”

I blew it, folks, but thanks to Life Selector’s resumable, amendable storylines, I can simply jump back to the beginning, follow the same path as before and simply pick an alternate option at the moment of crisis.

Join me next week as I endeavor to not only nail that contract but Ms. Diamond, too.