Create-a-Mate for the Holidays

Create-a-Mate

From 4th millennium renderings of Ancient Egyptian fertility god Min to Cynthia Plaster Caster to The Lex Steele PowerLock Cock, casting the human penis in a firm substance, whether stone, iron, glass or RealSkin, and revering it as a symbol of fertility and erotic potency has been part of mankind’s collective sexual culture throughout recorded history. So, if you’ve found yourself in need of a last minute gift for that special bottom in your life and you want to ensure it’s something that’ll come in handy, something you can both enjoy, something that’ll make for a memorable start to the new year, why not cast your willy to the wind, savvy shopper, and consider adding yourself to history’s museum of penises.

Create-a-Mate might sound like the name of a company producing futuristic sexbots you can assemble at home, but it is instead known around the world for leading the way in at-home penile reproduction kits. Allowing soldiers’ wives comfort during long stretches at the homefront, temporary lovers to always hold a keepsake, and the sexually frustrated to fuck their idols, fake dicks are always big hits, so why not throw yours under the Christmas tree? Not only does Create-a-Mate offer suction-cupped, strap-on, vibrating and handle-equipped versions of their famous penis cloning kits, they could also, quite frankly, use some help.

When Hurricane Sandy tore through the East Coast in October of 2012, she didn’t spare Create-a-Mate. The company’s New Jersey warehouses and offices suffered four feet of water. After relocating to Florida for support from associates, Create-a-Mate has returned to the NY area and begun rebuilding its cock-cloning empire starting with these latest, more advanced endeavors. (See, you’d be doing it for charity, too.)

Tasha Reign’s Pony Tales

Tasha ReignPoor Tasha Reign’s parents, they just can’t catch a break. First their daughter gets cast on trash-tastic MTV show Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County, then she poses for Playboy, and then, most disastrously from a parenting perspective, she embarks on a notable career in hardcore pornographic films, even landing on the cover of OC Weekly (distribution 78,000). Tasha’s latest endeavor, however, takes the cake and could have her more conservative relatives revising their Christmas card lists. Introducing Tasha’s Reignbow Pony Plugs.

 

Art is Pleasure
Produced in partnership with Crystal Delights and inspired by My Little Pony’s ‘Brony‘ fandom, Tasha’s Reignbow Pony Plugs remain the brainchild of Ms. Reign, who said “The plugs are so special because unlike other companies, Crystal Delights allowed me to have a say in every step of my toy, from the colors and designs to marketing and more; what a fabulous experience!” Available in four colors – Violet Virgin (lavender), Periwinkle Princess (pastel blue), Sunny Sovereign (yellow), and Cupcake Queen (baby pink) – each Pony Plug is made from dichroic glass, sports a genuine Swarovski element crystal in its base and a brightly colored tail streaming forth and offering you ample opportunity for sexual horseplay.

Tasha's Reignbow Pony Plugs

To offer some inspiration, Tasha has teamed up with Rikki Six, Cameron Dee, Jessa Rhodes, Xander Corvus, Eric Masterson, Mr. Pete, Danny Mountain, Derrick Pierce, and director Barrett Blade for Tasha’s Pony Tales, a feature-length movie that marks porn’s very first Brony-themed production. Set in the enchanted Magic Pony Cloud Land, “anal plug pony princesses” Reign, Six, Dee and Rhodes attempt to sexually conquer their male cohabitants. In heavy use throughout the movie, the presence of Tasha’s Reignbow Pony Plugs “takes the whole thing to new heights,” said Moose of Girlfriends Films, who is handling DVD distribution of the title, while Tasha herself considers the movie “something unique and special; a true labor of loveā€¦ it’s going to surprise a lot of people when it releases.”

Reignbow Pony Plugs

A series of SFW preview images have been posted to Film Drunk, Tasha’s Pony Tales is released on DVD by Girlfriends Films on January 10, and Tasha’s Reignbow Pony Plugs can now be purchased from Crystal Delights. Neigh.

Rabbi Dildo in Masturpiece Drama

Masturpiece's Rampant Rabbi“You wanna make dildos in the image of the Queen, Count Dracula, a genie, and a rabbi? And you don’t think it’ll land you in hot water?”

Despite the protestations I’m sure he suffered through, entrepreneur Shed Simove embarked on his latest and arguably most controversial business endeavor, Masturpieces. Modeled after Her Royal Highness, the immortal blood sucker portrayed by Bela Lugosi, the bottled-up granter of three wishes, and a teacher of the Torah, Masturpieces are dildos produced in limited runs and commanding fairly steep prices.

Now, you might assume it’d be the general Jewish community (as no doubt represented by some self-appointed leading body) that has complained about Masturpiece’s Rampant Rabbi, but fellow adult retailer Ann Summers. Usually associated with the staple of its business, women’s undergarments, Ann Summers also produces the “world’s most popular sex toy,” the Rampant Rabbit vibrator. After Simove’s application for trademark on his Rampant Rabbi was thwarted by a challenge from the retail giant, the self-styled “Ideas Man” simply decided to forgo trademarking his creation. “I can’t trademark it but I’m still using the name. I don’t think there is any confusion between the products,” he told the Daily Star.

What do you think? Should this comedian, “serial entrepreneur,” author, and motivational speaker relent and choose a different name for his culturally irreverent work of phallic devotion or is he cutting it a little too close to a well-known brand and protected trademark? Could you or your ladyfriend possibly mistake one for the other? (Perhaps a side-by-side visual comparison is required. If not, it’s at least an amusing image.)

Masturpiece's Rampant Rabbi

Aussie Woolworths’ Bad Vibes

Durex Play Delight Vibrating BulletWoolworths, Australia’s largest supermarket chain, made a decision last week that will make it more difficult for their everyday shopper, women especially, to leave with a smile on their face. Threatened with a consumer boycott, ‘The Fresh Food People’ agreed to remove Durex Play’s Delight vibrating bullet from its shelves. The opposition to mainstream retail sales of sexual aids is nothing new, but the curious origin of one of the more aggressive complaints is certainly unexpected. Fiona Patten, president of the Australian Sex Party and chief executive of the Eros Association, Australia’s adult industry body, argued that the sale of such aids in supermarkets was patently unfair to adult retailers. “It is unfair that adult shops must jump through myriad hoops to get planing approval and are strictly regulated yet mainstream stores sell the same products without having to adhere to similar regulations.” The regulations of which she speaks include age-restricted admission, a 200 meter proximity limit to schools and churches, and sometimes even blacked-out windows, adding to the already marginalized nature of adult-oriented retail.

Following suit, Coles, another national supermarket chain, has removed from its shelves Durex’s vibrating ring products, citing its awareness of “community concern”. This decision regarding a product with a more flexible target market – although they can and are used by women, the rings were packaged with condoms and clearly aimed at male consumers – comes more than five years after Play Vibrations ring device hit the shelves of grocery stores, pharmacies, and petrol (gas) stations around the country, raising barely an eyebrow on their initial stocking. So, can we deduce these recent withdrawals to be an attack on progressive female sexual awareness? Considering the Sex Party’s stance on freedom of sexual expression, this seems unlikely. Although, the other target of a potential boycott (and possibly legal prosecution) suggests it could be.

Clearly part of a bigger issue concerning Australia’s adult retailers, the Woolworths issue highlighted another outlet from which savvy customers can purchase dildos, vibrators, and many other products from some lingerie stores and pharmacies free from restrictions and regulations. Patten continued, “Adult shops would not stand a chance getting planning permission in such high-traffic precincts [as shopping malls]. Although what the lingerie stores are doing is illegal in many states, I’m yet to hear anyone bringing them to task for it.”

Sexologist Nikki Goldstein has vocally disagreed with the decision of retailers, asking “Why is it so offensive? We are taught to view such products as dirty, naughty, shameful, and outside the boundaries of normality, and that’s wrong. A vibrator is no different to a vitamin in that it does something positive for your body.”

Durex Play vibrating products are still available at pharmacies and adult retailers (and some lingerie stores) around Australia.

Durex Play Delight Vibrating Bullet

Tenga Wanna Be Couple!

Tenga, the Japanese sexual aid producer most well known for its disposable fuck sleeves for men and the myriad styles catering to every possible boner-hugging preference, has now expanded into a market it had previously dismissed: couples.

Tenga's Vi-Bo

Vi-Bo might sound like a new age meditative hybrid martial art, but it’s actually a vibrating orb core around which different covers and sleeves can be fitted to create five sexual aids intended for use by couples. Described by Tenga as a “love support item” and designed to “provide an opportunity for couples to share a deeper communication” (read: fuck better), the Vi-Bo Finger Orb, Ring Orb, Hand Orb, Twin Orb, and Stick Orb closely resemble cartoonish vibrating cock rings, phalluses, double-ended dongs, and something that looks kinda like weight training device with two handles. Using a new polymer with high elasticity, the sleeves fit snugly and easily over the Vi-Bo orb (the central component of all device configurations in this line) and make expanding and adapting your range of stimulation as easy as slipping on a condom.

Tenga’s Vi-Bo officially launches October 10th.