K-Pop-Porn

If the recent-ish launch of international pop music channels MTV Iggy and MNet America are to be believed, the USA is about to be inundated by a world of music most Americans have never even considered. From reggaeton to baile funk, from C-Pop to J-Pop to K-pop, there are dozens of artists with the talent, determination, and financial backing to blow the minds of America’s Internet generation. One group already starting their US invasion is the nine-member South Korean girl group Girl’s Generation. Having just released their first worldwide single, The Boys, the video to which garnered over 4 million YouTube views on its day of release, with an American album release coming in November through Interscope Records, and with a showcase performance at Madison Square Garden this Sunday in New York City, Girls’ Generation are poised to bring about a global group revival in popular music. Their tunes are great and Taeyon, Hyoyeon, Yuri, Yoona, Tiffany, Sooyoung, Seohyun, Jessica, and Sunny has distinct personalities and styles but blend together as a perfect ensemble, but what’s the real reason behind their smash worldwide success? For the answer, as always, we turn to porn.

Lady Gaga, Britney Spears, and Katy Perry have all been lampooned in US porn productions, but they’re just solo performers. Imagine how appealing a pornographic movie based on a nine-member all-girl singing and dancing group would be! Well, folks, it exists. Beautiful Legs Legend, a JAV (Japan Adult Video) release that copies Girls’ Generation’s outfits, dance moves, and music, but with an illicit twist, has proven that, along with the real ninesome’s truckload of miniskirt and short-short-accented stage outfits, long legs can sell anything.  Unfortunately, the JAV in question consists largely of five, not nine uncoordinated young women lazily dancing around sans panties. Yeah, there’s a foot fetish bukkake scene thrown in at the end, but that’s pretty dull, too. I suppose that’s what you get when Japan, whose pop music (J-Pop) has became stale and uninspired over recent years after decades of Asian dominance, tries to take on the rapidly expanding and wildly successful eighteen-legged Korean juggernaut that is Girls’ Generation. Fighting!

A for Anal, L for London

L for LondonHot on the heels of Asa Akira’s first double-anal scene in Elegant Angel’s Asa Akira is Insatiable 2, another fan-favorite Asian-American pornstar is giving up her rear passage, this time losing her onscreen anal virginity in the process. London Keyes, the 22-year-old from Seattle has been active since 2008 but had held out for years, resisting fans request for a hardcore boy/girl anal scene. L for London, directed by Jonni Darkko and now available online and in stores from Evil Angel, offers these fans what they’ve been waiting for. London’s first self-led feature release, L for London presents the tattooed, pierced stunner and her incredible body in nine scenes of hardcore fuck action, and the first co-stars Asa Akira herself. Initially the duo keep it sapphic with Asa taking her time stretching London’s ass with a huge black double-dong and giving her hole a tongue bath in preparation for what’s to come: Manuel Ferrara. Known for his assfucking talents, good ol’ Manny services both London and Asa beautifully, making London’s first anal scene a roaring success that simply must be seen in the 1080p High Definition format Evil Angel’s website exclusively provides.

Although such a rousing start to L for London is tough to beat, the thick-bodied beauty gives it a shot anyway. Following her anal debut with a three-guy blowbang, an interracial threesome, an anal masturbation scene aided by her director, her first pairing with the immense talent of Lexington Steele, and even bigger blowbang, a strap-on scene with Jayden Jaymes, and a double blowjob accompanied by Mia Lelani before ending on a fantastic note with a very, very sloppy deepthroat and titty-fucking scene with Darkko, complete with plenty of juicy foot-play and great POV close-ups of London’s gorgeous natural rack, there couldn’t possibly be a better way for fans of this incomparable Asian slut to enjoy her blistering sexuality.

L for London is now available in stores and online at Jonni Darkko XXX, Evil Angel and Videobox. Although the latter site is the only one of the two to offer every scene, those with Evil Angel and Jonni Darkko XXX memberships – which can be had for just $14.95 thanks to Mr. Pink’s discount – will have one new scene added each week until mid-November and, as they’re exclusively available in stunning 720p and 1080p HD resolutions from Evil Angel, all London Keyes fans should rush on over and see just how far their favorite young pornstar has come. I know I’m impressed!

Netbox, Quickflix, Vidster?

VideoBoxUnless you’ve been living in an Amish Paradise for the last few months, you’re probably aware that Netflix has been alienating and frustrating its remaining customers with price hikes, service changes, elapsed licensing deals, and generally tumultuous and upsetting behavior. Now CEO Reed Hastings has announced a split that will result in Netflix ceasing DVD rentals to provide streaming video alone, with new off-shoot company Quickster handling all physical media. Customers are outraged.

Over at VideoBox, on of the most consistently well reviewed adult video sites on the ‘net, and surely one of, if not the largest, customers are also voicing their dissenting opinions. Having months ago launched a trial beta version of something called VideoBox 3.0 (or VB3), the massively popular site only recently made the official switch to the new format. Customers have called the new, feature-laden design both a commendable innovation and a reason to leave the site:

    – “Please, let me know when you are sunsetting VB2 in time to cancel my subscription.” – Jim

    – “I don’t like the VB3 interface as it gives me less control over the content. This whole transition seems pointless.” – jfro21

    – “What pisses me of the most is vb3 is so slow compared to vb2 and it is a hassle to download anything. vb3 seems geared more towards streaming than downloading.” – Nathan

    – “Love the improvements, don’t think I’ll need to go back to VB2 anymore.” – TDK

    – “Love it, VB2 what?” – Dante

    – “Bravo guys. Now we’re cookin… Lubrication manufacturers everywhere are cheering increased sales projections.” –  Shawn

So, after months and months of revisions, modifications, and adjustments, it seems VB3 is on the verge of being VideoBox members’ only browsing option. While some will petulantly throw in their membership cards for try to find a comparable alternative (not likely), I’m willing to bet most will stick around for this exciting new phase of VideoBox’s continued domination of the online video porn game. It seems Netflix (or is that Quickster) could learn a thing or two from porn providers, after all.

A Plethora of Parodies

Rezervoir Doggz“The Kutch” is now on Two and a Half Men, The Simpsons might be getting its own cable channel, and big-name brands Pan Am and Playboy are the focus of two new shows from ABC and NBC, yet television is still struggling to pull in viewers who insist that, Spartacus and True Blood be damned, there still isn’t enough smut on TV!

Where mainstream TV networks fail, though, the porn industry picks up the slack and the recent onslaught of adult titles parodying television and movie staples should provide enough spanking material for any couch potato. Marcia’s Twat: A XXX Brady Parody came out in May from Powersville, Inc. and starred up-and-cummer Jessie Andrews in the title role. Game shows finally got the parody porn treatment with the blandly titled but lavishly produced Official Deal or No Deal Parody from Third Degree and, in quite a bizarre move, Zero Tolerance brought two volumes of a hardcore (and all-adult) version of To Catch a Predator. God only knows what Chris Hansen would say about that!

The big screen has been receiving its fair share of parody treatment, too, with such horror titles as Official Halloween Parody and Official Silence of the Lambs Parody, superhero-themed Spider-Man XXX and Captain America XXX, the special effects extravaganza Pron (parody of Tron), and, oddest of all, an ultra-violent, profanity laden hardcore remake of Quentin Tarantino’s debut film, here titled Rezervoir Doggz, which replaces the original’s all-male cast with Andy San Dimas, Chanel Preston, Kimberly Kane, and Amber Rayne giving performances of which AVN said “truly transcend… what any adult actress should really ever be expected to be capable of.”