Re-Gifting for Porn’s Sake

The holiday season traditionally sees an exchange of gifts between friends and family members, tokens of appreciation for putting up with each others’ idiosyncrasies and issues for another year. Unfortunately, the desire to give the perfect (or at least perfectly usable) gift often outweighs the personal element. Case in point: the gift card.

gift cards pay for porn

Handed out en masse every holiday season and easily purchased from supermarkets, gas stations, corner stores, 7-Elevens, and many other vendors, a gift card entitles the bearer to spend a predetermined, stated amount at a corresponding store. But what if you loathe L.L.Bean’s collegiate winter wear, object to Wal-Mart’s dominance of national and now international retail, or simply won’t set foot in a DSW for fear of contaminating your feet with the stench of others’? What do you do with your apparently useless gift cards then? Why, purchase some porn, of course!

With a number of adult sites and networks now accepting payment via store-affiliated gift card, I thought a rundown of such smut vendors would serve to enlighten you, dear readers, as to your spending options. And, hey, think of this way: when your father-in-law asks what you ended up buying from Home Depot, you can let him know that whacking it to Jayden Jaymes’s marvelous heaving breasts was more important than a new ball-peen hammer. Maybe.

Spend your unwanted gift cards at the following adult emporiums and ensure no gift card goes to waste. The gift card in my wallet, a $15 Starbucks card, could buy you the following membership stints at the following sites (with duration and price changing per gift card brand and value):

– 16 days with the amply-titted anal-loving fuck-freaks of Brazzers.
– 26 days with Naughty America’s MILFs and housewives and step-sisters.
– 9 days of ogling DDF Network’s European goddesses, foot fetishists, teen lesbians, and busty beauties.
– 30 days marveling at Videobox’s impossibly wide range of on-demand smut.
– 14 days, a solid fortnight, checking out the legendary Hustler archives.
– 14 days with Spizoo, the 13-site globe-trotting pornstar-fucking extravaganza.

Conditions apply, of course (minimum $10 balance, certain card brands only) but at least there’s finally a way to rid yourself of hard plastic currency usable only at unsexy stores that most certainly don’t stock Interracial Booty Intruders, Mommy Needs Money #2, or an HD version of Pirates 2: Stagnetti’s Revenge.


Videobox Just Keeps Growing

VideoboxVideobox, the most unstoppable adult video site on the ‘net has expanded its premium offerings by adding two new channels to the six-channel selection that already included such juggernauts of porn as Evil Angel, Kink, Reality Kings, and Vivid. The new channels focus on the work of two companies, one a leading US studio hosting a plethora of enticing stars, the other offers the choicest cuts from The Land of the Rising Sun. Videobox members, fans, and prospective customers, please welcome Elegant Angel and Soft On Demand to the party!

Founded in 1995 in Tokyo, Soft On Demand has grown to be one of Japan’s largest and most creative adult video companies and even started an annual awards ceremony to celebrate the best of its best. On its new Videobox channel, Soft On Demand provides anyone with $35 to spend four new DVDs per month. The collection at launch offers 190 scenes ranging from vanilla sex to aggressive gangbangs, bukkake, and bondage-laden cuckold scenes. You might not recognize the names of Soft On Demand’s stars, but I assure you they’re among the brightest in Japan’s AV industry. Best of all, though, there’s the lol-worthy titles: Japanese Juggs and the Beauties They Reside On, When News Breaks We Fuck It, Shh The Construction Workers Will Hear You, and (my personal favorite) Does This Make Me a Whore? I’m Pretty Sure This Makes Me a Whore. Unfortunately, much of this archive is riddled with censorship, but whether or not that’ll be the standard here remains to be seen.

Elegant Angel shouldn’t need any introduction to Mr. Pink’s readers: it’s one of the US industry’s production giants, having launched dozens of acclaimed DVD series such as The Bombshells, Big Wet Tits, Sporty Girls, Big Wet Asses, and the star-focused Pretty Filthy, Slutwoman, and Buttwoman series that have seen Kristina Rose, Tori Black, Alexis Texas, and Jada Stevens celebrated in all their undeniably carnal glory. Elegant Angel consistently impresses and has been the home of many sterling performers’ first anal scenes: Gianna Michaels, Lexi Belle, Charley Chase, to name a few. At a cost of $15 a month, providing three new DVDs from its incredible archives every week, Elegant Angel access is definitely hard to refuse.

Then again, Videobox was almost impossible to say no to already, so why you’re still reading this, I have no idea. Get fappin’!

Netbox, Quickflix, Vidster?

VideoBoxUnless you’ve been living in an Amish Paradise for the last few months, you’re probably aware that Netflix has been alienating and frustrating its remaining customers with price hikes, service changes, elapsed licensing deals, and generally tumultuous and upsetting behavior. Now CEO Reed Hastings has announced a split that will result in Netflix ceasing DVD rentals to provide streaming video alone, with new off-shoot company Quickster handling all physical media. Customers are outraged.

Over at VideoBox, on of the most consistently well reviewed adult video sites on the ‘net, and surely one of, if not the largest, customers are also voicing their dissenting opinions. Having months ago launched a trial beta version of something called VideoBox 3.0 (or VB3), the massively popular site only recently made the official switch to the new format. Customers have called the new, feature-laden design both a commendable innovation and a reason to leave the site:

    – “Please, let me know when you are sunsetting VB2 in time to cancel my subscription.” – Jim

    – “I don’t like the VB3 interface as it gives me less control over the content. This whole transition seems pointless.” – jfro21

    – “What pisses me of the most is vb3 is so slow compared to vb2 and it is a hassle to download anything. vb3 seems geared more towards streaming than downloading.” – Nathan

    – “Love the improvements, don’t think I’ll need to go back to VB2 anymore.” – TDK

    – “Love it, VB2 what?” – Dante

    – “Bravo guys. Now we’re cookin… Lubrication manufacturers everywhere are cheering increased sales projections.” –  Shawn

So, after months and months of revisions, modifications, and adjustments, it seems VB3 is on the verge of being VideoBox members’ only browsing option. While some will petulantly throw in their membership cards for try to find a comparable alternative (not likely), I’m willing to bet most will stick around for this exciting new phase of VideoBox’s continued domination of the online video porn game. It seems Netflix (or is that Quickster) could learn a thing or two from porn providers, after all.