#BreakTheInternet with Bang Bros, Brazzers

Kendra Lust and Nikki Benz parody Kim Kardashian

A few weeks ago, Paper Magazine unleashed what has arguably proven to be its most important issue, but it wasn’t the articles contained within that courted controversy and saw readership expand thousand-fold, it was Kim Kardashian’s ass. The images are now legendary, having been passed around the Internet on seemingly every social media and news platform. In fact, the shots of Kardashian’s oiled rear end have even inspired a SNL parody starring Nicki Minaj and prompted one SAT prep company, Catalyst Prep, to use the most famous backside on Earth to gussy up math questions on an otherwise humorless paper. Now it’s porn’s turn.

Bang Bros site Ass Parade released on Monday their parody of Kim K’s now infamous cover shoot, casting the exquisite Kendra Lust and her astounding derriere and coming quite close to matching the styling of Paper’s shoot. With pearls wrapped around her neck and hanging from her earlobes, hair piled in a high wrapped bun, and wearing only the skimpiest black-and-white lingerie, Ms. Lust looks very much the part as she poses for the Ass Parade camera. Enter Mike Adriano and commence ass-eating, double-cumming, and a creamy facial that seals the deal.

Not one to be beaten on novelty, Brazzers enters the fray on New Year’s Eve with the much-hyped casting of Nikki Benz in Kim K’s place. Standing tall in a black sequined dress that amplifies her already amazing curves, Benz balances a champagne glass on her ass before sliding her dress down to reveal her cheeks. Enter Keiran Lee and commence… well, we’re not sure yet since the scene’s still under wraps until NYE. Talking to XBIZ, though, Ms. Benz let out a few teasers: “During our scene [Lee] was making me cum so much! I was so horny I just asked him to do something I haven’t asked another male performer to ever do, and he was more than happy to comply. I don’t want to reveal what it is yet. I guess you guys will have to stay tuned to find out!” For Keiran’s part, he called Benz “one of the all-time greats of porn” and promised her fans and his would both love this Brazzers pairing, declaring it “one of the most intense scenes I’ve ever performed in,” and confirming Benz’s adventurous performance ventures into new territory and will show fans “something they have never seen from Nikki Benz before.”

If those hints are hinting at what I think they’re hinting at, I have a feeling the esteemed ZZ might be right: if Kendra Lust as Kim Kardashian won’t #breaktheinternet then perhaps Nikki Benz’s new exploratory scene will.

Vivid’s 10 Best Sex Tapes

Vivid sex tapesHollywood and the porn industry aren’t as separate as many would like to believe. Aside from geographical proximity, there’s many other factors shared by both industries: an obsession with physical beauty, market dominance by a select few studios, a growing piracy problem, and a reputation for filling the world with puerile nonsense.

There’s also a few more direct commonalities best exemplified by the rise of celebrity sex tapes. And nobody in porn is better equipped to discuss the “private” hardcore recordings of minor (very, very minor) celebrities than the man who ushered them into homes around the world: Vivid Entertainment founder and co-chairman, Mr. Steven Hirsch. Speaking to Supercompressor, Hirsch laid out his opinion on which pseudo-celeb fuck-fests were the most influential and, dare I say, important.

Predictably, tapes featuring Kendra Wilkinson, Kim Kardashian, Farrah Abraham, and Tila Tequila all make the list, but notably absent is arguably the most famous sex tape of all time: 1 Night in Paris. Originally released by Red Light Video, the video that thrust Ms. Hilton into our hearts and homes doesn’t strictly count as a Vivid release in Hirsch’s eyes, not like Backdoor to Chynna starring the wrestler of the same name or The 11th Hole, which starred Tiger Woods’ real-life mistress Joslyn James, both of which Vivid had exclusive rights to from the beginning, even before the shoot… Wait a good gosh darned minute!

Of the ten titles noted by Hirsch as paragons of celebrity sex tape culture are not the private homemade kind at all, but faux amateur productions that, from the get-go, were clearly intended to launch the porn careers, however short-lived, of their stars. Farrah Abraham Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom co-starred the biggest male pornstar on Earth, Chynna’s feature was the result of her pitch to Vivid and featured standard porno production values, Montana Fishburne was gearing up for a longer career in adult before her famous pops put an end to it, and Real Housewives of Atlanta spin-off Mimi & Nikko: Scandal in Atlanta was an obvious cash-grab attempt at further infamy, and Kendra Exposed was so clearly a publicity stunt that even Ms. Wilkinson’s tears over its release were declared as fake as a Cetaphil Lotion cumshot.

Call me a cynic, but I’ll take genuine amateur porn, for all its shitty camerawork and no-name performers, over a phony “private” celebrity vanity production any day.

Jessie Andrews First Annual Assfucking

Jessie Andrews

Jessie Andrews doesn’t do things the conventional way. After flitting around LA and entering porn (earning herself an AVN Best Actress Award in the process), Andrews took an odd left turn and launched her own jewelry line called Bagatiba, started booking DJing gigs, and appeared in the video for Borgore’s track ‘Decisions‘ with her new pal Miley Cyrus. So, when Andrews recently announced her upcoming anal debut, a slightly unusual approach was to be expected.

Maddy O’Reilly threw porn fans into a tizzy when ‘Maddy,’ the HardX feature holding her anal debut, was released after much pomp and circumstance, only to shoot anal scenes almost immediately after ‘Maddy’s’ release for Jules Jordan, Evil Angel, Devil’s Film, and Ass Factory. Ms. O’Reilly can now be seen having her butt banged on most major hardcore networks of note, but that won’t be the case for Jessie Andrews. Signing a unique deal with Girlfriends Films, Andrews is set to start in The Gardner and will be performing her first ever anal intercourse scene in the picture. The unique element of the deal? Andrews is contractually prevented from performing another anal scene until at least one year after The Gardner’s September 2014 release. Marveling at his coup, director B. Skow told AVN he thought it was the script, not the anal itself, that made Andrews so passionate about the project that she’d surrender her chance for a huge post-anal-debut payday. The script, inspired by the handful of long-term abduction, imprisonment, and sexual abuse cases recently uncovered in the US, continues Skow’s fascinating psychological porn dramas and was, the director felt, a good fit for the multi-talented starlet.

“When we finished the script I really wanted Jessie for the main role of the kidnapped girl,” Skow said. “It was also important to have the main character do anal because I really wanted to show how she was mentally tortured. Jessie had never done anal and I brought the project to her and she liked the idea of doing anal for the first time in a feature, so we made it happen.”

Jessie Andrews can be found on Twitter and will make her anal debut for Girlfriends Films ‘The Gardner’ in September.